Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Changing for the Worst

They say people are always changing. You are a little different every day. They also say that change is good.... I respectfully disagree.  I believe that not all changes are good; some changes are bad, especially when it comes to personality. If there is something you don't like about your personality you change it. Only you have the power to do so. What happens if you change for the worst? What if you change the good inside you? That is where change is definitely a bad thing.  I understand that people grow up and they change but what about the people who have been there from the beginning? I am not saying you should stay a ten year old forever but don't change so much that when you have seen someone it is like a pod person has taken over you.

 I had been best friends with a girl since she was born because our parents were best friends. So naturally we grew up together. We had great times together and some fights as all kids do. We always made up and never held a grudge. We would laugh about the fights later.  So when I went to visit her after we were adults it was very strange and awkward.  I thought who is this girl in my friend’s body? Was I living in the past? Was I crazy? I knew she wasn't going to be exactly the same and neither was I. I thought though she would be the same person inside. I obviously didn't think we would waddle around a pool talking about pancreases as we did before.  I wasn't ready for the shock that someone I had been best friends with for over eighteen years  that we would no longer have anything in common. It was weird and I didn't even wanna be there. I did but at the same time she just was so different that I didn't know what to do.

 I spent my days watching lifetime movies alone and my nights with her friends and boyfriend. She had to babysit an old neighbor who was in high school part of the time where there were like 40 high school kids getting drunk and doing drugs while they were partying. I stayed in the guest room wanting no part of that. I was stuck there. Afraid I would be held responsible because I was the oldest person in the house.     So naturally it broke my heart and all I had was the memories of the good old days of silver mints and float nights and jungle land and random silly pure insanity and I loved every moment of it.  I think in that time we both realized two decades of friendship was over.  It’s just merely a memory of each other.  It reminds me that sometimes when people change it can blindside you and you aren't ready for what will happen.

1 comment:

  1. I think that as people get older they do change - sometimes for the better and other times for the worse. I also think that no matter what, you can cherish those memories you all made together but just accept that she is who she is and you are who you are. Maybe she thinks you changed for the bad in her eyes too? Makes no sense to me, but just be happy that you realized this wasn't a good friendship to be in for either of you and that you simply grew apart. Now you both will make different friends and you already have an awesome friend who is totally goofy & silly but a good friend- ME lol hugs girly!