When blogging relationships go bad..

After recent events, that have to do with my blog, I am starting to wonder if all of my efforts are worth it. I really enjoy blogging and reviewing products and doing giveaways but, I am starting to question these things. I have many wonderful relationships with many pr agents and businesses which I am grateful to have. There is one “business” relationship that I had for three months; I really worked hard on everything I did for them. I put business in parentheses because it seemed like it was much more personal as this person emailed me almost daily. I went above and beyond what a normal product reviewer would do, I spent hours upon hours doing things that weren’t really in the scope of my job. It was almost like I had become an employee of this company. I was promised multiple times that they would fully sponsor me to go to BlogHer 10.

I spent my time writing posts for them that were not product reviews. I posted and posted for them. One I had to go back and edit because they stopped their relationship with a foundation. That meant I had to rewrite part of it, so it would make sense. I tweeted about the business multiple times. I also researched for them. I gave them free advertising for three months. I wanted to make sure they got their money’s worth. BlogHer is not cheap by any means.

I prepared a Twitter party and then held the Twitter party on a very devastating day, the last thing I wanted to do was have fun at a Twitter party. I wanted to be there for the community that I belong to. I wanted to mourn a loss of a fellow blogger. Yet, I sucked it up, I superglued a fake smile on my face, and did my job. Little did the guests of the party know that I was crying between my tweets. I was so upset, it turned to frustration because I had not had the help that I thought that I was going to have. I had to deal with other things between the others that were helping me. I had to deal with the sponsor making rude comments at the guests. I thought that overall it was a success. Anyone who has ever hosted a Twitter party knows how difficult they are to run and how stressful they are.

After all the hard work I put in to the company, and after all the nice things I did, I am left with nothing in return. They informed me out of the blue after emailing me as if nothing was wrong and after they sent me a Christmas present and then bailed on me. There were many questionable actions shown by the owner of the company. Many that made my stomach turn. I should have known but I trusted them. Some of the wrong doings were but not limited to insulting other bloggers, forwarding their pitches to me and making fun of them, lying to others, and just plain rudeness.

I was so excited to be able to go to Blogher 10. I talked about it all the time. I was like a kid at Christmas. I know it’s probably not all I think it is, but I want the experience of going. I want to go and learn and meet up with my friends that I have made in the last six months. I want to be able to have some time where I am around adults for an extended period of time without other people’s kids. Everyone deserves a break.

I want to represent a company or companies and use my voice to promote them. For me it is more than just a trip to New York. It is a way to break out of my shell and bloom in to the blogger I want to be through the training and the possible networking I will gain from this experience. It is not a trip it is an adventure and an experience. Now, I am not sure I can even have that experience because of the hurtful things this company did to me.

I am sure one or two of you are thinking, it’s just business. Well, it is not. It is extremely personal and extremely hurtful. It would have been completely different if it was just someone I did a few product reviews for and they just changed their mind. It was something I invested my time and heart completely and fully in this company and I thought that I was doing a great job. I was completely floored that someone would have the nerve to just do this to me after she knew I worked so hard and did so much. It is just so wrong to this to me or anyone. I have spent a lot of time crying. I have gone back and forth between crying and being angry. I feel like I failed and there was nothing else I could do. I felt helpless, I immediately reached out to my friends and I want to thank them all for their continued support. They mean so much to me.

Please don’t walk over bloggers. They deserve the respect and kindness just as much as anyone else. We work very hard for our blogs and for the PR and companies. Only a blogger would truly understand the time and effort we put in to our work. I am sure that most of the companies appreciate all the work bloggers do. It is like when you work really hard on a bunch of projects and once they are completed they call you in their office and fire you.

I am pretty sure I want to keep blogging. I am trying not to let one bad apple ruin it for me. My only regret from blogging is working with that company. I am still extremely upset about this whole ordeal. I feel like I wasted three months for nothing more than empty promises and many lies. I hope that this post brings caution and awareness to others especially bloggers. I hate having the mentality of not being able to trust the people I work with, and now questioning everything and wondering if the same thing will happen again.

So, here I am again back to square one, for looking for sponsorship to BlogHer 10. If you are interested in possibly sponsoring me, please use my contact form or email me. I will work very hard to promote your company. I will post an informational post in the future. I just wanted to get this all off my chest and perhaps help me work through the complete disappointment and hurt that I am feeling right now. I hope that this post helps someone too.

Gilbert

I think a lot of you could answer this question. Who is Gilbert? Especially those with young children. In case you don’t know he is none other than Caillou’s lovable gray cat. Gilbert always gets in to all kinds of mischief and he even gets lost a time or two. Noah loves Caillou as many of you know. So, being an animal lover he also loves Gilbert. He walks around saying Gilbert in the same tone Caillou does. When, I entered giveaways for My Car Pet, I would post in my comments that its name would probably be named Gilbert. I never won one if you were wondering. So, I naturally did what any mother would do and went on a search for a stuffed Gilbert.

Caillou merchandise is not easy to come by. I scoured the internet after all you can find everything online, except a stuffed Gilbert cat. The internet is a wonderous thing. How else can you reach hundreds of thousands even millions of people at once? So, I thought about what I was gonna do. I thought maybe I would keep looking.
During this time I went to a little toy shop and I was looking around. I thought maybe I would find my little boy a new little surprise. Something small, inexpensive then I saw it!


Please pardon the quality of the photo. I took it with my cell. I can’t locate my camera at the moment.
A little Gund Kids stuffed gray striped cat. The employees of the store informed me that it meows. I looked at the price tag as small toy stores can have hefty price tags. I had experience with Baby Gund before when I bought a little soft photo album. The photo album was 15 dollars but I had received a gift certificate/coupon from the hospital when Noah was born.

I did notice the kitty has white feet and Gilbert doesn’t. It was close enough. The Gilbert was really cheap. He was under 5 dollars I believe. I was in shock how cheap it was. When I gave it to Noah he smiled so big. He has a cheek dimple. It’s a special one because instead of being at the middle of his cheeks it is at the top. He inherited that from me cause I had one too. He and his Gilbert are great friends. He carries him around and talks to him. He loves Gilbert. He loves when Gilbert meows. It is a very distinguished meow, enough that I could pick him out of a voice lineup.

We went to Wal-mart today and he managed to carry Gilbert to the car. I waited to get him in his car seat and then explained to Noah that Gilbert was going to stay in our house. I told him that Gilbert is too special to lose. It would be heartbreaking if we lost him. He seemed to be fine with it and Gilbert was sitting on the dryer when we got home.

I am a ZOMBIE MOMMY!

I have a confession to make! I am what you would call a ZOMBIE MOMMY. I hardly ever wear makeup. I am also considered frumpy. You know in the movie The Stepford Wives when Mike is showing the Stepford video, I am the before wife. So, I have made it my goal since it is New Years Day to dezombify myself. I don’t own much makeup and the makeup I do own is like seriously 8 or 9 years old.

I don’t even really know how to “put on makeup” lol. I don’t want to wear gobs and gobs I just don’t want to look like I am about to go feast on some brains. I don’t even know if my 8 or 9 year old makeup is still in working condition or not. It’s probably toxic and should be covered in Mr. Yuk Stickers! I terribly need a makeover! I am interested in organic skincare. I think that might be better for my skin if their was not all those extra toxins.  I have become more aware of organic things since I had Noah and started blogging.

Next I will discuss my hair or should I say my zombie locks! It’s like frizzy, yet straight. It tangles really easily and really badly. I cut it myself a couple weeks ago cause I got sick of pulling my hair when I would try and get the tangles out. I have broken bristles off my hair brush because my hair is such a mess. It still tangles but at least now it isn’t long tangles!

I love to be comfortable because I spend a lot of time at home. I love to wear pajama pants. I have two pairs of jeans that are both ripped and are so big they fall off of me when I walk. It would be great if I was a gangsta girl, but I am a mommy. I have some cute shirts and cute pajamas but my pants that I wear out are like fleece pants. It’s really sad. I have not wore shorts in like 4 years. It could be 103 degrees and I will be wearing jeans. I have some funky funky clothes! I don’t like wearing them cause I look so frumpy and dumpy. Maybe even like Humpty Dumpty!

I have never been to a spa. I have never stepped foot in one. The most professional massage I have ever had was at the county fair where the chiropractors give you free ones. Then call and harass you for months to come in. Even though you were told a while back by a chiropractor that you have a beautiful spine. I trust him. He works with the Colts I think he knows what he is doing! I have gotten a water massage at the mall a few times. Those are really cool. Especially when they have you watch a TV and listen to the music. It has been a while though.

I have never had a professional pedicure. I had a manicure a few times. That was cool but that was definitely my pre-mommy days. I can only dream of what a spa has to offer. It’s like the episode of Fraiser where they go to that new spa and each door leads to a better room until they end up outside by the dumpsters. Someday, maybe I will go to a spa. I know lots of people go on spa days. I bet it is wonderful!

So, my goal for 2010 is to dezombify myself. If anyone wants to help me on this mission please contact me.