The Worst Cake EVER!

I love to cook and bake. I am usually great at coming up with recipes and making new creations. On a few rare occasions, I make a really terrible recipe that sounded ok in theory. This was one of those times. Years ago, it was a friend’s birthday and a friend of mine and I decided to get cake. If I remember correctly, I really wanted cake, what can I say, I love it. We embarked on a quest to find a birthday cake.  I didn’t want him to have the run of the mill cake, we wanted something like rum cake. I was like well, I can bake, how hard can this really be? Surely, neither of us in our infinite wisdom decided to look up a recipe. We were too cool for that. We started our journey at a couple grocery stores, then Costco, we were looking for a Bundt cake I believe. The details are a little fuzzy to me now. Long story short, after we struck out for whatever cake we were looking for, we couldn’t find it. 

Then a light bulb went off in my head as we were strolling around Kroger.  I said, how about pound cake? I like it, it works great with sliced strawberries. It was easy enough to find, we grabbed three pound cakes and some frosting.  Well as we are planning this grand birthday gala in our heads, someone decides to add a surprise to the cake. I think it may have been my idea based on what the surprise was.  So, I channeled my inner Paula Deen on the cake and took a wooden spoon and poked holes in it. I think I was thinking I was making something that was deemed as genius! After the cake was set out in a pan and the holes were poked, we proceeded to pour some Malibu Rum on it, to give it a kick. In theory, it would have probably been decent, if someone… who will remain nameless…. Didn’t pour the ENTIRE brand new bottle of rum on it.  Then to cover up the holes we spread vanilla frosting on it. At least we were smart enough not to light any candles in the cake.  We did sing though.

When it was time to cut the cake, it had been soaking up all the rummy awfulness for a couple hours, the cake was very moist and when you took a bite, it was humorous at how awful it was.  I picked Malibu because that is one of the few types of alcohol I could drink straight. If you didn’t know that you can get extremely drunk from eating, you can. I think everyone ate half a piece and then we are all grounded at our friend’s house. The cake went in the trash and we never attempted it again. One of my friends and I talk about it occasionally. It makes me sick just thinking about it. It is filed away in the Sheila’s Failed Recipe folder.