Twitter Convo about God

I was having a conversation with a friend on Twitter about God.  We were talking about churches and God and religion.  She and I have both had bad church experiences.  I went to a Wesleyan church when I was 17 and it was a total nightmare.  I felt so alone, the people were really mean, and it just wasn’t what I thought that church was.  It was not a good environment. It was like if you didn’t fit their exact image and thought the exact same way you were a leper.  I was always taught that you are supposed to love someone as Christ loves us.  I am not going to say I was perfect, because that would be a lie, no one is.  I am still not perfect because I am human, but I was lost.  I was a 17 year old girl lost, trying to seek out God.  I have always believed in God but I wasn’t sure of the answers I was seeking.  I was raised Catholic.  I went to a church looking for guidance and I was totally metaphorically stoned.  I know that I messed up some, but I owned up to it. 

What really bothered me was this youth group I joined would judge me for things and turn around and do the same things.  It was a very upsetting thing to go through.  I wasn’t acting like a maniac or anything; I was just different, trying to find where I belonged.  I had serious issues with the youth pastor sharing my confidential information like it was the weather.   I would go to church and the youth group meetings and I was invisible.  I could have been on fire and no one would have cared.  It was just a horrible thing.  I am so glad that I didn’t decide to base my opinions of God and Christians from this group of people.  If I had, I would be so lost and so wrong.  I have a really strong faith.  I guess I could kind of credit it to what I once referred to as a cult, to my relationship with God. It definitely made me realize that there are bad people in every religion and also good.

After that experience, I taught Sunday school at a Methodist Church.  It was a lot of fun.  I decided somewhere between after those experiences that I should be non-denominational Christian.  I think that there should only be God’s laws and not man’s. I loved the church I went to when I was married because it was totally God driven.  The Lord was totally in charge of the sermons and the things we took part in. It was an awesome thing.  I miss it so much still to this day.

My friend and I were talking about how sometimes churches are similar to MLM or Multi-Level Marketing. I totally agree because when I was at the church I went to when I was married and actually married in was totally not about donations. It was about God, and helping the community.  The church was really small as I know I have said before.  Money didn’t matter at all at this church was awesome.  It was just that we all knew God would provide.  The burden was placed in God’s hands and he provided what the church needed every time.  You have to surrender things and let God handle it.  It is hard to do  I know. I struggle with it daily. 

Something my friend and I talked about is people being preachy. There is a fine line between being excited and cramming it down someone’s throat.  I don’t usually bring up God to my friends. I am not ashamed of God or anything I just don’t want them to feel forced in to believing the same thing as me.  I am firm believer in the fact that it is a choice only you can make. I don’t think that God loves someone any less if they decide it is not right for them.  If my friends bring it up. I love talking about it.  I have never read the whole Bible so I can’t quote scripture but  I am pretty good at saying the right thing so my friends say.

I came up with an awesome analogy on Twitter the night we were talking about this.

I believe in planting seeds, watering them, waiting for them to grow, vs throwing a plant in a pot and having them not flourish.

That basically means you need to take the time to answer questions, pray for and really spend time talking about God with someone who is interested in learning more.

You have to give some TLC as you would to a newly planted seed.  Noah and I planted some zinnias last year from seeds, and they grew to be taller than he was.  Sure it took longer but they were flourishing like crazy. 

If you take a plant and throw it in a pot, the plant will not flourish, you can’t force it to grow and it doesn’t really wanna be in the pot any way.  It feels trapped in the pot.  It can’t spread or grow properly.    You can’t make someone believe in God, no matter how hard you try or want it for them.

You have to start from scratch and it has to be something someone wants you can water the plant as much as you want but it is up to the flower to blossom.

Choose Your Friends Wisely

I mentioned in my peer pressure post, I would talk about a girl I once knew.  I met this girl when we were in sixth grade and became friends; she was really shy but seemed really nice. Somewhere in seventh grade we weren’t friends anymore.  We both went through school without any interaction, we went to a huge school so it was possible and we didn’t have any classes together. We were never enemies, or got in verbal confrontations, she became a girl I would occasionally hear her name and maybe possibly see her in the hall. We both moved on with our lives and then in 2007 we became reacquainted. At first it was weird, because she didn’t really care for me much, but holding on to something that happened in the sixth grade is just silly. We became friends again; I wouldn’t consider that we were really close. She spent a lot of time with some of my other friends so we hung out. She and I hung out just us maybe three times to this day.  Shortly after this happened we moved to Florida, we still stayed in touch, because I hadn’t seen the big fireworks going off warning me to run for the hills.

I knew she had some issues with her ex, and stuff like that, I could relate to her in that respect. I knew that she was hurting and I wanted to reach out and be her friend. I remember a specific time that she threatened to call the cops on me, because I didn’t agree with the legal advice some lady was giving her. She wasn’t a lawyer, she actually didn’t know what she was talking about at all. So, this girl and I stopped talking, I can’t be mixed up in that. I am a mom and I don’t have time to really deal with this kind of behavior and then she called me. She used her “wounded animal” voice and I stupidly started talking to her again. This time she thought she was pregnant; well she always thought she was pregnant.

I felt sorry for her, she completely down spiraled from there.  She would meet these guys that were no good, she even went as far as trying to change her ultrasound from the child she miscarried to fake a pregnancy, which she later said it was a miscarriage. I have had a miscarriage and that really upset me and made me very angry. I started ignoring her calls, texts, ims you name it, I ignored it. That was not ok. I found out through mutual friends that she had been engaging in criminal activities. She would call the police at a drop of a hat, and it even got to the point where she cried wolf so many times, the police didn’t believe her anymore.  I was suckered in to talking to her a few more times, I felt bad, I wanted to help. You can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. I honestly still feel bad for her, but my family comes first. I can’t have someone who is engaging in behaviors where I could get in trouble and go to jail or worse around me or my family. I don’t want to be innocently going to the mall or out to eat with her and land in jail for her actions. That is not someone I want to be a role model. I know that it’s her life and her choices but personally, I can’t have that around me.

As I said before, I believe that you have the right to pick your own friends, but be careful and watch out for the warning signs that something might not be right. I would hate for any of you to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and regret it.

Thank You Brandcation #Gulfcoast Sponors

This past weekend I went to my first blogging conference.  I went to Brandcation Bloggers Gone Coastal.  It was hosted by Brandfluential  and Momdot. It was in Pensacola Florida.  I am not sure if I had ever been to Pensacola before and it was absolutely beautiful.  The scenery was nothing compared to all the wonderful women I met. I had spent almost three years chatting with these women so having the opportunity to meet them was so exciting. We spent time bonding together and learning about brands and going on adventures.  It was definitely the experience of a lifetime.   We had some amazing sponsors that made this whole thing possible, without costing a fortune to attend.  

I want to take a little time to thank all the sponsors:

Adventures Unlimited  invited us out to go zip lining and tubing.

Portofino Island Resort  was our accommodations in beautiful condos.

Dunkin Donuts Thanks for the bagels and coffee. An Everything bagel hit the spot after a long trip in.

Jambu sponsored the wacky Blog Olympics where we had to do all kinds of silly things. They also provided us with awesome tote bags for our swag.

Hotel Coupons  for sponsored our Murder Mystery Night. They have awesome coupons to help you save on travel.

Circle PR made it possible to go on the Dolphin Cruise

Dole  provided us with some healthy condo snacks.

Stargazing with Dewey was such an experience.

The Swag Sponsors:

Mogo Charm sells adorable magnetic charms for kids that Noah loves.

The Tervis Water Bottle  was one of my favorite swag items because it is a great water bottle that is pretty much leak proof. They also sell glasses that contain patches of different things like sports logos and even monograms.

Capsul Cases are hard wallets so you don’t have to worry about your cards getting all bent up.

The Village company  makes Mr. Bubble products and other luxurious bath items.

Hasbro provided us with The Game of Life zapped for iPad and you play with both a game board and your iPad. 

Noah is so excited to listen to the Kidz Bop CD I received.

Carex  sells all kinds of cool products. We all received a Pediatric medical kit complete with a thermometer and different items to dispense medicine. We also received a detachable pill box that some of the proceeds go to Breast Cancer awareness. My favorite item from Carex is the Neck Buddy pillow. You heat it up and it is heavenly.  I have it on my back right now after having it on my neck.

Lush Gourmet Foods makes delicious gourmet nuts and I was lucky enough to try some.

Nivea provided everyone with a sample of fifteen lip care products, Sun Kissed Lotion and body wash and a men’s product to try out. I love Nivea!

Lady Fortunes makes beautiful cookies and treats with your company’s logo on them. 

I don’t know how many times I have had to lug my purse somewhere because I had no pockets for my phone.  I am so excited that I received Pami Pocket because now I don’t have to worry about carrying my purse with me, which weighs a ton.

Island Def Jam Records provided us with some music to jam to long after Brandcation is over.

Ayala’s Herbal Water provided beverages for all the ladies to drink during the conference.

Wikki Stix is one of Noah’s favorite items I received. He loves shaping them in fish and sting rays and other assorted sea life.

Phone Fetcher will definitely be a life saver.  I am always losing my phone in my purse. I really need to clean it out.  I am so glad that I don’t have to spend time looking for my phone because I can attach it to my purse.

Page Stationery makes really cute personalized stationary and cards.

Cereusart provided everyone with a wine charm. I love that mine was a starfish.

Annemarie Gianni Skin Care provided everyone with a sample of their organic, wild crafted and natural  skincare products.

Veri Peri Sauces makes sauces with a kick of spice and they had me at Garlic!

Twin Cottage Industries  makes really cool bungee bookmarks. They hire mentally disabled people to make the bookmarks which are absolutely awesome.

Kids Gear provided me with kid friendly headphones. If you know me I am always breaking head phones and these are well made and will survive the headphone curse!

Smart Mouth makes Activated Mouthwash that uses patented Smart-Zinc Technology.

Sacs of Life  gave me my favorite swag item so far. They gave everyone a brown diaper bag that doesn’t look like a diaper bag and makes a great bag for a mom on the go.

Bright Star Kids provided me with a really cute cupcake bag tag. They must have known I love cupcakes!

KleenSlate makes dry erase paddles for classrooms so children no longer have to shout out the answer and it helps shy children participate too.

EAD Designs provided everyone with an owl decal and a blogging geek car decal.

Wahmies Eats makes reusable casserole covers which is awesome because I am always fighting with plastic wrap and losing.

Blue Orange Games provided everyone with a game to share with their families.

DVO Enterprises  makes the Cook’n Recipe software. I have so many random recipes that are written on paper, from the newspaper or printed out. I tend to lose them sometimes and with this software I can keep them all safe digitally and access them on my laptop and tablet.

When I was in school I was always forgetting my locker combination.  I wish they had Wordlock when I was in school because I could remember a word to unlock my locker.

Our Giveaway Sponsors:

Rubbermaid provided the prizes for the Blog Olympics teams.

Etching Expressions makes really cool etched wine labels and personalized plaques.

Belkin makes all kinds of fun tech things. I received a tablet holder for when I am cooking in the kitchen and don’t want to spill anything on my tablet. The coolest thing is it does not use screws so it won’t ruin your cabinets.

Velvet Pepper makes beautiful purses and bags.  I really need a new purse.

Frangelico is Hazelnut Liqueur and everyone received a bottle and hand crafted Frangelico chocolates.  

Tiny Love provided the Musical Stack & Ball Elephant as a giveaway prize. I know one of the other bloggers would have done anything for her son to get one.

Atlantic Luggage makes great luggage that is lightweight. My mom has a suitcase that weighs 17 pounds which is a pain when you have a weight limit of fifty pounds. I will look in to purchasing her some new luggage.

Drama Queen Bows makes really sweet bows for little girls.

I also wanted to thank our wonderful hosts who spent 5 months organizing and planning:

Trisha

Kim

Lynsey

Blondie

I plan to go in to more detail about our adventures and some of the awesome sponsors and swag items we received. Noah has already gotten in to and ran off with quite a few of my swag items.

What a Friend is to Me

What is a friend?  This is a question parents are asked by their children at some point. I want to share with you what I think a friend is.  If you would have asked me this before I would have said someone you care about that you hang out with and do things with. In theory that is somewhat true but there is so much more to it. A friend is someone you care about who cares about you back just as much.  A friend is someone you share a bond with. A friend is someone who lifts you up when you are down. A friend is someone who even though they might not completely understand what you are going through or why you feel a certain way about something or someone but they try and understand.  They are the ones that you can run to be it in person, on the phone or even through text and they always know what to say or do to try and make you smile.  Sometimes it just goofy pictures of them sticking out their tongue or a funny joke only you two understand, but it helps.   A friend is someone who does not tear you down.  A friend is someone who you can get in to an argument with and know at the end of the day, you will still be friends.  A friend, a true one, is a lifetime commitment.  People mess up, I do it all the time, but I know that my friends will love me for me and understand that I mess up. Just as I understand that they mess up.

I have shared with you guys before that I have had some toxic friends. These people were not good friends. I thought that they were. I always look for the good in people. That is how I was raised. I can’t stop doing it, but I need to be cautious. I am so lucky to have such wonderful true friends now. It really makes me look back and think wow, those so called friends were not friends at all. Thank you to all my true friends. Without you, I am not sure where I would be. I would name you all but, I would probably forget someone so you know who you are.

There's Room for Everyone in this World if Everyone Makes Some Room

As a blogger, a mother and a person in general I have some issues with some things. I am really sick of the negativity and complaining that I have seen a lot of lately. I don’t have the best life; I have my share of problems, hardships and things where I am just like at the point where I am three minutes from the nut house some days. I know my life could be a lot worse. I have things that others could only dream of.   I think that is part of being a human, and living your life. It just gets on my nerves to see how negative people are in general.  It really gets me down to see it.  I have a friend who complains about everything, from work to his love life to what color trash bags he has in his kitchen. I am not the best at what I do but most of the time I try my best and that is all that matters. I understand that everyone is having hard times and it really sucks, well in this I start overanalyzing my life. If you know me personally I will dissect everything, every word, every syllable, and I am sure it drives people crazy.  Actually, I know it does.   I try not to compare myself and my life to other people, but at the same time it is like human nature.  We all want to belong, we all want to fit in and ultimately be loved.

I have noticed that I am not sure I have ever really belonged. In school I was friends with whoever and I didn’t have a set group that I belonged to. I guess that is a good thing because I can’t stand being in a clique.  I was in a “group” a couple years ago and I was kicked out of it.  I will give you the short version because it’s not really worth an entire blog post, because I had to be the martyr in the situation. Maybe not martyr maybe more like the sacrifice, and just between us, it still kind of hurts a little.  I reconnected with a guy I knew from school he was in like a bunch of my classes. We weren’t friends in school per say more like just talked before class and at lunch.  I remember he asked me out when we were sophomores and I was in to my bad boy phase and ”madly in love” with this junior who was also in our biology class.

Well I found him on Myspace and sent him a message, we started talking and we hung out one night, this also led to being reacquainted with this other guy who I knew from school who I thought was the sweetest, shyest dork ever.  I was ecstatic when I knew they were still friends. Well, we all became really good friends and hung out a lot and had a lot of fun. We definitely had some random issues, but nothing friends couldn’t get through or so I thought.  Well, in the process of the friendship two brothers started hanging out with us and then like a whirlwind I was kicked out of the group. I am not sure if it was because I was female, I was always really nice and polite, it really hurt though because I was like best friends with one of the guys. We hung out almost every day I did things like go to a stupid car auction because his dad was in Amish Country and he didn’t want to go alone. Of course, I had no interest what so ever in going it was hot and a waste of time to just look at cars. I went with a smile. I did find a really cool toy truck like my grandpa had worked on and had the same toy truck, so I guess that was worth almost getting heat stroke over. I went to flea markets with him, did so many things where I would have rather been doing anything than that. 

After months and months of hanging out daily and all the things we did together, you know what happened. He had one of the brothers send me a nasty message on Myspace, saying I don’t want you in the group anymore. He still to this day has given me no explanation, not even a peep from him. I think I would at least deserve to know what I did wrong, why our friendship was thrown away over something that I have no clue. I am still dumfounded about this.  I still remember the last time I saw him, it was the day after Christmas, he was bringing me home, we said our normal text you tomorrow have a good night thing we did a million times before and then nothing.  Nothing ever again, he didn’t even have the nerve to tell me himself.  I try not to be bitter so when some things happened to him I truly and seriously felt horrible for him. I am one of those that once I care, I care always, no matter what happens between me and someone.  

On a good note, now I have a group of the most amazing friends. I am not sure why I settled for what I did in the past. I love you guys. You mean so much to me, thanks for your unconditional friendship.