A Hard Parenting Moment

I recently wrote a post about letting people go.  Well, several nights ago Noah and I were talking, it was late, he had a cold and he started talking about my dad.  It broke my heart, without going in to personal details, basically he was saying things like I wish I could meet Grandpa. He is almost six and has never met my dad. He lives in England with his new wife and it just is far away. I haven’t seen my dad since before I found out I was pregnant with Noah.  Noah kept saying things like where is Grandpa? How far is England? Why haven’t I met him?  I didn’t have the heart to say anything. He went on to make a plan to go see him. He calculated every detail of the trip out to me.  I just went a long with it.  I felt the tears falling down my face because it made my heart hurt so badly.  We have never had the best relationship and again without getting in to all the personal details he has hurt me many times in my life, more than I can count. I had known this for a long time and it is who he is, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.  I was really hesitant to let him back in my life and now Noah’s life back in 2007.  It is really hard because he’s my dad. My five year old doesn’t know, it is sad that he hasn’t met him.  I already have seen him disappoint Noah and continue to disappoint me. I used to wonder if I did something wrong, if I wasn’t good enough growing up? I wondered if it was my fault. 

So, what do I say? I mean I am definitely not going to say the truth to my five year old. I don’t want him to know, if that makes sense. I guess I will just have to go along with it for now and not make any promises. It is not like he has made any effort to see us. He invited us out there when Noah was two.  That’s a long way from home and I would be worried something would happen and we would be on the streets in England to fend for ourselves.  He has never offered to come here once. When he was living in the states, he never offered to see us.  We actually moved to be closer to him and he took off to England.  He has never heard Noah’s voice other than on videos. He doesn’t call, Skype or anything. Noah has seen two pictures of him.  It makes me so sad, because who could want to not meet my sweet little boy. He is amazing and so smart.  It has really turned in to a very stressful and hurtful thing for me so I decided to just let him go. Let him have his life in England and all that and hope he is happy, but I can’t let him hurt us anymore. My heart can’t take it, I don’t want Noah’s heart to hurt or ever feel unloved  by him like I did for almost my entire life.  It just really stinks because Noah is asking about Grandpa all the time now and I know he is genuinely just a kid wanting to see someone he loves.

Investing in Noah's Future

Noah is starting kindergarten in the fall, where has all the time gone?  It seems like just yesterday he was a baby.  Now that I have registered him for school, and soon will be buying him school supplies and paying book rental and sending him on the bus, it has me thinking about the future. I have always thought about the future but I really need to start some kind of college fund for him so when he graduates high school, he can go to college.  I am not going to be a parent that relies on a scholarship for my son. I have faith that he is smart enough to get one but you never know.  I know that he is very advanced for his age but I need to be proactive about this.  I need to sit down and look in to investing my money in to something that can provide for Noah’s future if he goes to college or not.  I want to check out purchasing some walking liberty half dollars.  I was always told that gold and silver were both a good investment. 

My dad gave me a couple pieces of silver when I was in Jr. High and I still have them both.  I couldn’t tell you where they are, but I still have them tucked away somewhere.  I thought it was really cool that he gave them to me.  I could have sold them at a pawn shop or something, but I kept them for a rainy day. I think I might pass them down to Noah when he gets older.  You know I am big on heirlooms and by the time he is an adult, they will be over 25 years old. I know some of you might be thinking he’s only 5 now and I have time, the last 5 years has flown by so I am assuming the faster I get on the ball I am able to help him go to the college of his dreams.  He wants to be so many different things, it changes all the time so who knows what he will do with his life.  I just need to check out a company like Independent Living Bullion to start investing in Noah’s college fund while he is still young.  The longer you have the more likely you are to be able to do something like this.  I have big dreams and hopes for Noah to be whatever he wants and will help him achieve his goals in life.

Do you invest in anything? Do you have college funds for your children?

Adventures Unlimited Trip #Gulfcoast #Brandcation

One of the adventures we went on Brandcation, turned out to be the biggest adventure of all. We went to Adventures Unlimited in Milton Florida.  They offer zip lining, tubing, kayaking and even camping.  The property was absolutely breath taking. There were so many lush trees and it was hard to believe I was in Florida still. It was like I was out in the wilderness.  I know that not all of Florida is palm trees and beaches so it was different when you think of being so close to Pensacola Beach.  One of the things I noticed was how friendly the staff was.  They were all very nice and Jack the owner made a point to personally talk to me a bunch.  It made me feel like I was one of members the Adventures Unlimited family. 

 

I am not a wilderness girl.  I grew up in the suburbs.  I went to camp and stuff when I was younger and love to go camping. Honestly, when I thought about zip lining, I had no idea how high it really was going to be. The only zip line I had seen before was at a pumpkin patch. I wouldn’t say I was afraid of heights, just more afraid to actually do the zip lines. I did the practice zip and stopped short of the platform, so I had to pull myself in.  I know that everyone else had a really great time.  I just wasn’t able to take the leap off the normal ones.  It’s not my thing.  Although I didn’t zip line, I was able to spend some time just talking to the staff and taking in the natural beauty of Adventures Unlimited. 

After zip lining we went tubing in Cold Water Creek.  I was excited to be able to go tubing because I loved going tubing at water parks. It’s not the same obliviously, but I thought it was a similar experience.  I had been tubing in the past where you are pulled by a boat and that is a lot of fun.  This kind of tubing was where it is you, your tube and your faith in the river to get you to the exit.  The tubing adventure is almost 4 miles long. It can be really relaxing for some.  I had a hard time managing myself to stay out of the trees. I learned to become very creative when it came to pushing off things, like tree limbs, branches and rocks.  Be sure to stay fully hydrated because you don’t know how long you will be in the river.  The water wasn’t very deep so that was a good thing. One thing I will tell you that I learned very quickly is to make sure you are aware of what is in the water. I didn’t see any snakes but there are stumps that you have to be careful of. You don’t want to bump your bum or worse get stuck on a stump.  As long as you keep your bottom up and are aware of your surroundings you should be alright. I ended up getting heat stroke in the process so; I only remember part of the tubing adventure.  I guess I was hallucinating and passing out.  I want to give special thanks to Lisa she made sure I made it safely.

For more information about Adventures Unlimited please check out their website.

Thank you to Adventures Unlimited for sponsoring a full day adventure for all of the Brandcation attendees. All thoughts and opinions are my own.