They say people are always changing. You are a little
different every day. They also say that change is good.... I respectfully
disagree. I believe that not all changes are good; some changes are bad,
especially when it comes to personality. If there is something you don't like
about your personality you change it. Only you have the power to do so. What
happens if you change for the worst? What if you change the good inside you? That
is where change is definitely a bad thing. I understand that people grow
up and they change but what about the people who have been there from the
beginning? I am not saying you should stay a ten year old forever but don't
change so much that when you have seen someone it is like a pod person has
taken over you.
I had been best
friends with a girl since she was born because our parents were best friends.
So naturally we grew up together. We had great times together and some fights
as all kids do. We always made up and never held a grudge. We would laugh about
the fights later. So when I went to visit her after we were adults it was
very strange and awkward. I thought who is this girl in my friend’s body?
Was I living in the past? Was I crazy? I knew she wasn't going to be exactly
the same and neither was I. I thought though she would be the same person
inside. I obviously didn't think we would waddle around a pool talking about
pancreases as we did before. I wasn't ready for the shock that someone I
had been best friends with for over eighteen years that we would no
longer have anything in common. It was weird and I didn't even wanna be there.
I did but at the same time she just was so different that I didn't know what to
do.
I spent my days watching lifetime movies alone and my
nights with her friends and boyfriend. She had to babysit an old neighbor who
was in high school part of the time where there were like 40 high school kids
getting drunk and doing drugs while they were partying. I stayed in the guest
room wanting no part of that. I was stuck there. Afraid I would be held
responsible because I was the oldest person in the house. So
naturally it broke my heart and all I had was the memories of the good old days
of silver mints and float nights and jungle land and random silly pure insanity
and I loved every moment of it. I think in that time we both realized two
decades of friendship was over.
It’s just merely a memory of each other. It reminds me that
sometimes when people change it can blindside you and you aren't ready for what
will happen.
I think that as people get older they do change - sometimes for the better and other times for the worse. I also think that no matter what, you can cherish those memories you all made together but just accept that she is who she is and you are who you are. Maybe she thinks you changed for the bad in her eyes too? Makes no sense to me, but just be happy that you realized this wasn't a good friendship to be in for either of you and that you simply grew apart. Now you both will make different friends and you already have an awesome friend who is totally goofy & silly but a good friend- ME lol hugs girly!
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