I am a ZOMBIE MOMMY!

I have a confession to make! I am what you would call a ZOMBIE MOMMY. I hardly ever wear makeup. I am also considered frumpy. You know in the movie The Stepford Wives when Mike is showing the Stepford video, I am the before wife. So, I have made it my goal since it is New Years Day to dezombify myself. I don’t own much makeup and the makeup I do own is like seriously 8 or 9 years old.

I don’t even really know how to “put on makeup” lol. I don’t want to wear gobs and gobs I just don’t want to look like I am about to go feast on some brains. I don’t even know if my 8 or 9 year old makeup is still in working condition or not. It’s probably toxic and should be covered in Mr. Yuk Stickers! I terribly need a makeover! I am interested in organic skincare. I think that might be better for my skin if their was not all those extra toxins.  I have become more aware of organic things since I had Noah and started blogging.

Next I will discuss my hair or should I say my zombie locks! It’s like frizzy, yet straight. It tangles really easily and really badly. I cut it myself a couple weeks ago cause I got sick of pulling my hair when I would try and get the tangles out. I have broken bristles off my hair brush because my hair is such a mess. It still tangles but at least now it isn’t long tangles!

I love to be comfortable because I spend a lot of time at home. I love to wear pajama pants. I have two pairs of jeans that are both ripped and are so big they fall off of me when I walk. It would be great if I was a gangsta girl, but I am a mommy. I have some cute shirts and cute pajamas but my pants that I wear out are like fleece pants. It’s really sad. I have not wore shorts in like 4 years. It could be 103 degrees and I will be wearing jeans. I have some funky funky clothes! I don’t like wearing them cause I look so frumpy and dumpy. Maybe even like Humpty Dumpty!

I have never been to a spa. I have never stepped foot in one. The most professional massage I have ever had was at the county fair where the chiropractors give you free ones. Then call and harass you for months to come in. Even though you were told a while back by a chiropractor that you have a beautiful spine. I trust him. He works with the Colts I think he knows what he is doing! I have gotten a water massage at the mall a few times. Those are really cool. Especially when they have you watch a TV and listen to the music. It has been a while though.

I have never had a professional pedicure. I had a manicure a few times. That was cool but that was definitely my pre-mommy days. I can only dream of what a spa has to offer. It’s like the episode of Fraiser where they go to that new spa and each door leads to a better room until they end up outside by the dumpsters. Someday, maybe I will go to a spa. I know lots of people go on spa days. I bet it is wonderful!

So, my goal for 2010 is to dezombify myself. If anyone wants to help me on this mission please contact me.