I was having a conversation with a friend on Twitter about
God. We were talking about churches and
God and religion. She and I have both
had bad church experiences. I went to a Wesleyan
church when I was 17 and it was a total nightmare. I felt so alone, the people were really mean,
and it just wasn’t what I thought that church was. It was not a good environment. It was like if
you didn’t fit their exact image and thought the exact same way you were a
leper. I was always taught that you are
supposed to love someone as Christ loves us.
I am not going to say I was perfect, because that would be a lie, no one
is. I am still not perfect because I am
human, but I was lost. I was a 17 year
old girl lost, trying to seek out God. I
have always believed in God but I wasn’t sure of the answers I was seeking. I was raised Catholic. I went to a church looking for guidance and I
was totally metaphorically stoned. I
know that I messed up some, but I owned up to it.
What really bothered me was this youth group
I joined would judge me for things and turn around and do the same things. It was a very upsetting thing to go
through. I wasn’t acting like a maniac
or anything; I was just different, trying to find where I belonged. I had serious issues with the youth pastor
sharing my confidential information like it was the weather. I would go to church and the youth group meetings
and I was invisible. I could have been
on fire and no one would have cared. It was
just a horrible thing. I am so glad that
I didn’t decide to base my opinions of God and Christians from this group of
people. If I had, I would be so lost and
so wrong. I have a really strong
faith. I guess I could kind of credit it
to what I once referred to as a cult, to my relationship with God. It
definitely made me realize that there are bad people in every religion and also
good.
After that experience, I taught Sunday school at a Methodist
Church. It was a lot of fun. I decided somewhere between after those
experiences that I should be non-denominational Christian. I think that there should only be God’s laws
and not man’s. I loved the church I went to when I was married because it was
totally God driven. The Lord was totally
in charge of the sermons and the things we took part in. It was an awesome thing.
I miss it so much still to this day.
My friend and I were talking about how sometimes churches
are similar to MLM or Multi-Level Marketing. I totally agree because when I was
at the church I went to when I was married and actually married in was totally
not about donations. It was about God, and helping the community. The church was really small as I know I have
said before. Money didn’t matter at all
at this church was awesome. It was just
that we all knew God would provide. The
burden was placed in God’s hands and he provided what the church needed every
time. You have to surrender things and
let God handle it. It is hard to do I know. I struggle with it daily.
Something my friend and I talked about is people being
preachy. There is a fine line between being excited and cramming it down
someone’s throat. I don’t usually bring
up God to my friends. I am not ashamed of God or anything I just don’t want
them to feel forced in to believing the same thing as me. I am firm believer in the fact that it is a
choice only you can make. I don’t think that God loves someone any less if they
decide it is not right for them. If my
friends bring it up. I love talking about it.
I have never read the whole Bible so I can’t quote scripture but I am pretty good at saying the right thing so
my friends say.
I came up with an awesome analogy on Twitter the night we
were talking about this.
I believe in planting seeds, watering them, waiting for them
to grow, vs throwing a plant in a pot and having them not flourish.
That basically means you need to take the time to answer
questions, pray for and really spend time talking about God with someone who is
interested in learning more.
You have to give some TLC as you would to a newly planted
seed. Noah and I planted some zinnias
last year from seeds, and they grew to be taller than he was. Sure it took longer but they were flourishing
like crazy.
If you take a plant and throw it in a pot, the plant will not
flourish, you can’t force it to grow and it doesn’t really wanna be in the pot
any way. It feels trapped in the pot. It can’t spread or grow properly. You can’t make someone believe in God, no
matter how hard you try or want it for them.
You have to start from scratch and it has to be something
someone wants you can water the plant as much as you want but it is up to the
flower to blossom.
