Grown Up Bullies

I have heard a lot of talk about bullies. There have been many articles written about the subject in the past year. I know that a lot of terrible things have happened to young people that have been victims of bullying. There have been many lives lost to suicide brought on the abuse of bullies. There have been bullies actually physically committing murder and beating their victims almost to death. It is such a sad and terrible thing for children to endure and it needs to stop. I think that parents should talk to their children about being bullied and also how wrong it is to bully. Sometimes, not always, but in some instances it is learned behavior from their parents.
If you would have told me when I was younger like elementary school and in jr. high that adults could be bullies I wouldn’t of believed you. Every child has a teacher or two that they don’t like; it’s a part of life. I don’t think those teachers were bullies, I just think that I was a brat that didn’t always like to follow their directions, do the homework whatever it was and I would get in trouble.

Growing up my parents were not the type of parents that would have friends they would fight with, or any enemies. I guess I was lucky, or something. I can’t remember anytime there was “Drama” going on. It wasn’t that it was hidden from me or happened when I wasn’t paying attention, it just never happened. I know that my parents didn’t get along always, that is why they are divorced but, they would usually keep it away from my sister and me. Probably because I was a very out spoken child who would of said something. My mom has never said a negative thing about my dad, not even today. My grandma Diana would say mean things about my mom, my Grandma Rose and even me. That is a whole other blog post for another time in the future.

I was always under the impression that once you got out of school the bullying would stop, because that is not what I was accustomed to. I didn’t think that grown men and women would be that mean and cruel to others. I thought at some point people grew up and put the childish name calling behind them and the insults. I am sad and ashamed to say that I was wrong. It really makes me sick when people insult each other for the stupidest reasons. I think that any insult is uncalled for in any way or for any reason. It doesn’t matter what differences that you have, where you come from, or what the problem is. I have always thought it was better to ignore the person and walk away. If you feel threatened go to the police, otherwise make contact with that person scarce if you cannot stay away completely. No one deserves to be bullied, no matter how old you are.

I am not sure why people feel like it is ok to bully someone. I don’t really understand it. I am just really sad that it still goes on in adulthood. I am not sure if it is because they are a mean person or if they were bullied and now they are retaliating on anyone they can find. I have had toxic friends that were bullies to me. They were not physical bullies but emotional ones. I have had so called friends say horrible things to me or about me for no reason. Things would be fine and they would call me and say some ridiculous thing to me when I was mourning the loss of my Grandma Rose. I am no longer friends with those people. Really, I should have known better after receiving an email from this same person and then she had a bunch of people write awful hurtful things about me when we were in school. I should have known better. Do you ever look back in your life and think to yourself and thought that you wish you would have ended that friendship or relationship a long time ago. You wished that you never let it get to that point? I have now that I am older.

I have learned that not everyone is going to like me. That is fine, I guess, but people should be able to put their differences aside and co-exist without taking cheap shots. Besides the normal cuss words and name calling there are insults that are uncalled for. All of them are, but there are certain ones that are extra awful. I hate the R word. I hate when people use that as an insult or talk about “licking windows” or helmets. That is horrible. I am not talking about making fun of disabled people, I think most people know that is wrong, but when someone uses it as an insult. People are born different, and that is OK. We all have our challenges. Some people say it is a cultural thing to say it and that it doesn’t mean that. I disagree politely, it does. It is labeling people and saying that is not acceptable.

Another thing that a lot of grown up bullies do is bring children in to it and insult their kids. Children are innocent. They should stay out of it. Something else is throwing insults about being on assistance. Some people need help with food, medical, even cash. In a perfect world, we would all be millionaires, but this isn’t a perfect world unfortunately.

There is a saying that I am sure you all have heard many times. “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” That is a true statement and a false one. Sure words won’t leave physical bruises, but it will leave emotional bruises. Emotional bruises hurt for a long time. They are harder to forget. They don’t heal like physical ones, which fade away. I know that people sometimes say not to worry about what other people think or say but really, it does hurt. I know people are purposely trying to hurt you, why else would they do it. It is hard not to be upset or hurt. Especially if it is someone you thought was your friend. It is hard to not. It’s human to feel emotions and if someone says something about you, it hurts. Maybe I am just an emotional person. It is human nature to want to be accepted and loved.

E!'s New Show- Bridalplasty- America's New Self Esteem Killer!

I was watching E! tonight, Bruce Almighty was on. It is a great movie. I was watching the commercials and twice they showed an ad about a new show premiering tomorrow called Bridalplasty. The show is about a group of brides that leave their fiancee for four months and they compete and get plastic surgery and the winner gets a dream celebrity wedding. The winner has her new whatever she gets and shows her fiancee when he lifts up the veil. I am not sure if all the brides go under the knife or not. I am sorry but I think that is the dumbest most superficial show that I have ever heard of. I hope to get remarried some day. Who knows what the future might bring but I am telling you what, my future husband will love me for me. He will have to love all my flaws, because they are mine. I am not talking about my inner flaws I am talking about my outer appearance. My freckles, my imperfections that everyone has, after all, no one is perfect, say it with me now, no one is perfect. Everyone knows their flaws, they don’t need someone else pointing them out. I think that it gives people the wrong idea, the impressionable children, people that have self esteem issues. Actually, it is plain sick honestly.

I am ashamed to be in this society, where everyone obsesses over their appearance. Where kids are bullied because they look different, because they aren’t “perfect”, maybe they have a different body type. Some kids’ lives are made a living hell because of those things. It is crap TV like this that encourages bullies to pick on other kids because they are different. Those kids that are being bullied are someone’s daughter or son. There are quite a few adult bullies out there too. Some people call them grown up mean girls or mean boys. Their whole purpose in live is to make someone else feel like crap. It doesn’t end after you leave school. There are 30 and 40 year old women who make fun of people for no reason. They talk about them behind their backs and make them feel horrible. When someone says something hurtful it doesn’t matter if you are 8 years old or 48 years old. It still hurts. Sure, you deal with it in other ways, like ignoring it, but deep down it still hurts the same.

Last night I was watching Pauley Perrette’s YouTube videos, she was talking about bullying and how things get better, they really do. She said that she wore glasses and an eye patch in school and that she was picked on a lot. She said she was never mean to anyone. She is now an amazing actress on NCIS and instead of being spiteful; she is very humble about her life. She doesn’t pretend to put on this glamorous Hollywood lifestyle; she is just herself, very down to Earth.

I am a firm believer that everyone is beautiful. I always look for the good in people. I think to truly love someone is to be able to find them beautiful or handsome inside and out. To embrace their flaws and love them, we are all jigsaw puzzles some of our pieces are different than others but they make up who we are. We need to understand that what is to love is to love the whole person. Not the parts that we want, but each part the same. Learn to accept those flaws and erase them in our minds and hearts. You know, something could happen and someone’s beauty could disappear, but to people who love you, you will always be beautiful in their eyes and heart. God made each of us the way he wanted us to look. He made us all unique and put love and care in to molding us from lumps of clay in to the person we became. I would not want to say something God made was ugly. God does not make ugly things.

E! Investigates Bullying.

I love to watch E! Investigates. It is a great show where they feature everything from The Curse of the Lottery to Women Who Kill. I think that it is a very interesting show. Each show has a different subject and the show is an hour long and it is something I am always interested in. I actually will look online at my local cable company’s website to see when it is on. I have seen some of the same episodes more than once and I don’t mind watching them again. I am really interested in the ones about murder and mayhem. I wanted to share with you about the newest episode that will air on Wednesday April 21 at 10 pm ET/PT on E! It is about bullying.

Every day, thousands of kids across the country are afraid to go to school thanks to an epidemic of vicious behavior among American teenagers. It is estimated that 20% of children are victims of bullying. These attacks come in the form of physical and verbal abuse, as well as by newer methods of harassment using cell phones and the internet. Once thought to be just harmless teasing, the real-life effects of bullying can include prolonged depression and even suicide. Recently, according to police, a 15-year-old girl in Massachusetts hung herself after being taunted by a group of girls who posted mocking messages on their Facebook pages. This one-hour episode sheds light on several recent stories and the tragic effects that can result from this all-too-common behavior.

By all accounts, Dylan Theno was a happy, well-adjusted boy in a small Kansas community. But when he entered 7th grade, a few of Dylan’s fellow students began making fun of him. For years the cruel taunts and name-calling continued. The Thenos claim they spoke with school officials on numerous occasions to no avail and they ultimately had to make the tough decision to pull Dylan from the classroom. Also in this episode, E! Investigates interviews students, parents and faculty in Calabasas, CA, to learn what really happened when red-haired kids were suddenly singled out and attacked on the infamous “Kick A Ginger Day.” E! Investigates: Bullying explores theories of what may be causing the increasingly cruel nature of these attacks, explains how the advent of hand-held technology has given bullies powerful new weapons, and shows what schools are and aren’t doing to prevent bullying. Finally, warning signs are identified that parents should look for if they suspect their child has become a bullying victim.

I can’t wait to watch it. Bullying is a serious subject that many children have to deal with growing up. No child deserves to be a victim of bullying in person or on the computer. It is such a difficult thing to go through. Sadly sometimes bullying leads to suicide or murder depending on the severity of the case. I was watching another show on E! about the most horrific crimes committed by children and one of them has stuck out since I watched it. This girl named Shanda was being bullied by a few girls in school for some ridiculous reason and the bullies recruited a couple other high school kids to trick her in to going out with them to a concert to meet another “friend”. They ended up torturing her for hours and she ended up ultimately dying after being beaten over and over with a tire iron, being locked in the trunk for hours and the autopsy revealed that the cause of death was inhaling fumes as she was being burned alive. Other children could lash out and seek revenge on their bullies, and hurt many others in the process.

Bullying is not funny; it is not something that is just kids being kids. It is a crime in my opinion. As parents we need to all stand together and talk to our children and make sure we are aware with what is going on with our kids. We need to make sure our kids are not being bullied or bullying someone else. I hope you will all tune on Wednesday April 21, 2010 and watch E! Investigates Bullying at 10 pm ET/PT on E!