Teaching Noah in the Car

I love to travel so much. It's definitely a passion of mine. If I won the lottery, I would travel extensively with Noah. I am always looking for ways to teach him new things and share experiences. He's older and really smart, he doesn't like being quizzed on things. When he was younger, I could just ask him questions. He just gets annoyed at me now. He is really curious about things. I want to take him to Williamsburg again, we went when he was two months old. We didn't really do much but go to Yankee Candle.  He's learning about Paul Revere in school and that would be a fun trip or Washington DC. He seems to be very interested in history. I asked him about who Paul Revere was. He told me that it was a guy who told the people that the British are coming.  After that he was talking about different wars today. He wanted to know if any of our family was in either the Civil War or the Vietnam war. My mom explained that our family on her side wasn't in the United States yet. I also told him that  his grandpa side wasn't either. I told him how I am the first generation born in America. He is the second.

When I named him Noah, I didn't know how fitting his name would really be.  He loves aquariums and zoos. We want to go to every major aquarium in the U.S. some day. He has been to quite a few already.  He loves to learn and experience new things. I have discovered that you can make anything a learning experience.  It doesn't have to be complex, it can be as simple as just counting miles or shouting out different colors of cars. Starting young is a great idea. It helps build a foundation and a love for learning.

For more ideas check out my post about educating in the car.

Shopping for Noah's First Car Seat

Becoming a parent is the most amazing experience that you can have. It can also be very stressful. When I was pregnant with Noah, it was amazing yet scary at the same time. I was very high risk for different reasons during my entire pregnancy. I was really nervous about shopping for him until I was about five months along. I also found out that I was high risk for another reason. I had to shop efficiently because I wasn't allowed to be out shopping a lot. Buying a car seat was probably the most important item I purchased. You have to have one when you leave the hospital. I remember getting annoyed at the nurse's aide when I was putting him in the car seat. This was after spending the last two weeks of my pregnancy in the hospital on bed rest. I wanted to get out of there as soon as I could. I know she was just doing her job.

I ended up getting another one shortly after he was born. The one I had was too bulky. It also came with the matching stroller. I had better luck with it. It wasn't as heavy. I also had a baby who was built like a linebacker and he grew out of his infant car seat around 8 months old. I had to get a convertible car seat to accommodate his size. I was able to use it for a long time. I did miss being able to grab the seat and go. It's funny because I used to not be strong and my body has grown to be able to carry him. I would worry about being able to carry him once he was older. I guess that's one of the mysteries of motherhood. Maybe it's love. There's so much to consider when buying a car seat though. You need to make sure you are doing your research.

To see what all I recommend you know when buying a car seat check out my article.

The Internet can be a Very Scary Place

I have been on the Internet since I was in the 5th grade. I am 31 now so it was pretty new back then. I started out on Prodigy when it was just message boards. Looking back now I realized that I was a possible victim of solicitation of a minor. I remember  when I was on Prodigy, a guy asked me what my bra size was. I had no clue I was a naive kid. I said 50. No letter just 50. When I got AOL in the 7th grade I started going in to chat rooms. These were just town square rooms. I was 13. I would talk to these guys who I thought liked me. I felt special because they were like 17. I remember one in particular who was 17 or 18 could have been older. He told me that he had a sister my  age and I chatted with her. I never questioned if she was real or him on a screen name. I just thought it was so cool that this guy was talking to me. I am sure that is a common feeling for girls that age. He lived in Lakeland Florida and I lived in the suburbs in a nice community in Indiana.

There were other guys that would talk to me, some not so appropriately.  They weren't totally vulgar but more sneakily vulgar. There was definitely grooming going on too. That's basically where they get you to trust them and are really nice to you. The good thing is that they were all over the country and I wasn't stupid enough to send pictures of my body. Even good girls can be fooled. It is so important to monitor your children online. I hate to say it but trust is not enough. You can trust your child but you can't trust the other person. It doesn't matter what the kid says it could be all a lie. Pictures don't mean anything. Anyone can pretend to look like someone online. Teach your children when it comes to people online to trust no one.  I don't care if they are nice. It doesn't matter if they are cute. You don't talk to strangers when they offer you candy. You don't have private convos with strangers online. Even if they say they are a nun.

It really concerns me because even though we know more about online predators and pedophiles, with social media and everyone feeling the need to share every location and thing they are doing, it's really harmful. I see that kids have Facebook and Twitter who shouldn't. People are posting their private business with the masses. I think that Facebook and Twitter should tighten up their age requirement. Facebook and Twitter should require an actual way to verify age. Parents need to install monitoring software. This is not a trust issue. It is not a oh my kid is a good kid and wouldn't do that issue. It's a safety measure. If your perfect little angel becomes a victim of an Internet crime including bullying. You need a record. You need to be able to know who these people are in case there is something that needs your attention. If your child decides to meet someone online you need to know who this person is just in case. Some kind of contact number or an ip. Just having your computer in an open space isn't enough you can't watch them like a hawk all the time.

Your child probably will be mad if you monitor them with software. They may question if you trust them. You might have an argument over it. It's not a trust issue it's for their safety and when they are a parent they will understand and probably thank you. They will look back and think wow I really was fearless and did a lot of stupid things. Just as I did. I was totally fearless. I was a good polite kid and I did a lot of stupid stuff that people probably thought I wouldn't do. I thought I was invincible and nothing could hurt me.

School Uniforms: Good or Bad?

As I mentioned before, Noah goes to an elementary school that requires uniforms. Was I happy about this when I found out? Not really. Did I make a huge deal about it? No. I accepted it because it is their policy. It was hard to find the required color polo shirts. It wasn't because it was some outlandish color. I just happened to register and move to the school system late.

Let me tell you what Noah wears to school. He wears a light blue or navy polo shirt and cargo shorts or cargo pants. He also has a school t-shirt he can wear. Noah would most likely wear the same cargo shorts and cargo pants regardless because those are what he likes. They aren't stuffy starched pants or shorts. He doesn't have to wear a tie, normal or bow. His uniform has never been a big deal to him. When he gets a positive referral he doesn't have to wear his uniform. Honestly I don't see what the big deal is. I am sure you have some questions running through your head.

What about self expression? Shouldn't kids be able to express themselves through clothing?
Self expression is awesome. I believe that kids should be able to express themselves whenever they can. However I don't think that school is a place to have a fashion show. Kids get picked on for wearing off brand clothing. Kids also wear clothes that are too revealing or are too short. In high schools in some areas kids wearing  gang colors are an issue. If everyone has to wear the same thing, that will possibly help eliminate it.  I personally think that kids go to school to learn not to be complimented on their keen fashion sense. How many times have you heard a child in class say hey I love your uniform? Probably none.

Aren't they just like little clones?  I don't think that they are clones. Every child is unique and just because they are required to wear their uniform it doesn't take away from who they are. What about drones? Nope they aren't drones either. They are at school to learn and learn through art and music and work to express themselves. They will have to most likely wear a uniform when they work as an adult. School is their job.

Won't they rebel? I am sure different kids rebel for different reasons. I don't really see any correlation of wearing uniforms and rebellion. I haven't heard of tons of kids rebelling because they wore uniforms. Most of us go through a rebellious stage at some point. We do it, we move on. I have a vast knowledge of crime and serial killers and I have never heard of someone running amok because they wore a uniform in school.  There is always some kind of big issue that causes them to kill.

Think back to yesteryear when you were in school? Do you remember the majority of what you wore to school? I can probably remember a several outfits from each year. I have a great memory, especially when I have photos to remind me. It doesn't matter what you wear to school, what matters is your education. No one will look at your transcript and say oh Susie  wore Abercrombie to school and Billy wore Walmart clothes so let's give the job to Susie.

Nurture vs Nature

Have you ever heard about nurture vs nature? It is basically learned behaviors and behavior or traits you are born with. The pendulum swings both ways. There are certain things that you are born with. Mental illnesses, tendency to be addicted to alcohol, things you don't choose. I think that those people have to work extra hard to become a positive member of society.  I believe that nurture has a lot to do with how someone acts or behaves. This can be about anything really. If your child is spoiled and throws tantrums until they get their way, this is a learned behavior. Your child wasn't born with a bad case of the gimmies. You bought them a lot of toys. Now Noah is pretty spoiled, but he doesn't have huge tantrums. Does he cry when he doesn't get his way? Absolutely sometimes he does, I let him cry a little and then life moves on.

Hatred and prejudice is also a learned behavior. Children do not see skin color, they see friends. Race doesn't matter to them. There is nothing wrong with being different. It's what makes us uniquely us.  Friends can like different things and still be the same. I know my best friend and I are into different things. We love each other anyways.

A persons environment also has a huge impact on behavior. If you are raised in a home where there are crimes committed and are around criminals you are more likely to repeat those behaviors. I also believe that where you grow up and who your peers are have a part in it too.  If your friends are doing bad things you are more likely to do them too. Maybe to fit in or because you also think it is ok. When you watch your parents do something then it becomes almost acceptable in your mind when you look up to the parent. I also know economical factors play in to behavior. I am not saying that all people that come from low income families will turn to crime. I am saying it is more likely. They are predisposed to it. They can not afford things easily so some tend to turn to crime to get it. Drugs are more available.  When you want something you can not afford, some choose to turn to theft to get it.  I know that more people in prisons come from low income areas.

There are many people who are in low income high crime areas that overcome their environment and become productive member of society like Judge Mathis for example. It isn't a stamp that you are given on your forehead that says no future, you control that your self. You can overcome your challenges with doing the right things.

It is easier to do the right thing in a good environment. 

This is a common theme on Law and Order and Law and Order SVU. They always talk about if someone is born bad. Did they get a bad seed? The Bad Seed is one of my favorite movies. It is about a little girl who murders a bunch of people and the mother wonders if her daughter is the bad seed after finding out information about her past.  The Defense in criminal trials try and use both nature and nurture as a defense depending on the circumstances.

Just because your parent was bad doesn't mean the sins of the father are going to be the sins of the son.  There is no criminal gene or bad seed gene.

Just because you were mistreated as a child or abused doesn't make your crimes a act of nurture. There comes a point when you have to accept responsibility for your actions and overcome whatever happened to you.

My Most Embarrassing Mom Moment.

I shared with you my most embarrassing moment when I threw up all over the bus on a field trip in the ninth grade. Now I want to share with you my most embarrassing mom moment. As a parent we all have one or two or five depending on the child and the number of kids you have. It could be something like your child said something inappropriate to someone or that they did something silly. Mine however involves me. 

When Noah was 3 months old my cousin and her three kids were visiting. Noah had a dirty diaper and of course I wanted to change him right away. So, I took him to his changing table. I know what you are thinking, he peed on you. No that wasn't what happened. I started changing his diaper and he wasn't quite done yet so I quickly closed his diaper and waited for him to finish. After he was done, I changed him. I went back to my company and was sitting there talking to my cousin. I always play with my hair so I was running my fingers through it and all the sudden. I felt something on my hand. I looked at my hand and it was covered in poop. I had poop in my hair and on my hand. I gave my cousin Noah to hold while I washed my hair in the sink. Her kids thought it was the funniest thing ever. They told their dad on the phone. I was so embarrassed. Thankfully it was my family and I was at home. Could you imagine if I were at a restaurant or the store. 

What is your most embarrassing mom moment? 

A Pleasant Award - ScS

Being a stay-at-home mom, when I’m not doing my motherly duties I’m blogging. Even though I’m nestled here in Florida when surfing the internet, I read the most heart-warming story and had to share it with you. Children are very inquisitive, and being a mother myself I think it’s really important to encourage that. When Noah askes me questions or wants to do something new, I always try to do my best so he can gain experience and understand.

That’s why I think it was fantastic for ScS, a leading sofa company, to award 10-year-old Amelia Howarth with a day behind the scenes watching how they make their TV ads. This little girl wrote to the head office about how much she loved the ScS adverts and how she’d act them out in front of her friends and family, so cute. From all the emails they must have received, I think it’s fantastic that the marketing manager, Lindsey Duncton, recognised this young girl’s enthusiasm, and said: “We were delighted to read Amelia’s e-mail and to hear how much she loved our ads.”

Amelia, her brother William and their mom Emma, went to their nearest branch in Portrack Lane, Stockton, where they not only got to see behind the scenes, but Amelia even met the star of the ads, Victoria. I think this is a great way to encourage young children to get involved and be more creative.

The little girl was ecstatic!  She said: “I was really excited to visit the ScS store and meet Victoria from the ads. The whole day was really fantastic and I enjoyed meeting the nice people from ScS. I have shown all my friends the signed script I was given by Victoria and told them all about it. It really is the best day of my holidays and I can’t wait to see the new ads on the TV.”

Emma Howarth, Amelia’s mom, added: “I’m very thankful to ScS, they really did make my 10-year-old daughter’s day.” Her mom must have been so proud of her, I know I would be of Noah.

If you’d like to read more about this story or flick through their wide range of home ware, visit ScS at www.scs.co.uk

Dating Single Mom Style

Being a single mom can be very hard. It of course has its advantages and disadvantages. The advantages are way more important than the disadvantages of course. When you are divorced with a child or a single mom you have the urge to want to date. I am only thirty one and I would love to have a bunch more children. Some moms decide not to date or have no desire to be in a relationship again, but I am not in that group. I am however not really in any rush to do so. I know my biological clock is ticking and for someone who wants many more children, it is a little unnerving. I am however a mom. That doesn't mean that my needs aren't important. It means my son's needs are most important.  I am actually pretty nervous about dating anyone. I have set two important rules however.

The first rule is I have to be very serious with a guy before they meet Noah. We will have to be together a long time. He is my life and I don't want him getting attached unless it is the real deal. I don't want to be someone who brings a lot of relationships around my son. I don't want to be like this is my friend so and so, unless they are just a friend. I don't want him to bond with some random person who he may or may not see again. It's too confusing and hard for him.

My second rule is and I won't tell Noah he has this power, but if Noah doesn't like the guy, I won't per sue things further. I don't ever want to be with someone my son doesn't like. I don't want to be under the impression that things will get better and he will eventually like the guy. Kids are great judge of character, in my opinion. I am really  good at reading Noah and I know the difference between when he is genuine and when he is just being a grump.

I am nervous about dating someone because you never know who they are. I will totally Google the heck out of you, search court records, and find out whatever I can about the guy, before the first date. I  am not paranoid or crazy, but I don't live in some fairy tale world that thinks that bad people don't exist. I know that they do unfortunately. I will be well informed about who this person is. I will also trust my gut and know that if I feels like something isn't right, then it probably isn't. Women's intuition is important.

I am not really in any hurry. I definitely don't want to rush anything. I am fine with meeting someone and just talking for a long time before anything happens. I am more in to taking the time to making the right decision and going slow.  I want to make sure it is worth it vs. just jumping in and taking the risk and seeing what happens.  It's funny how when you are a parent, you change your thinking about everything.

When you are ready to meet a guy you should dress up nicely and don't forget to accessorize.

10 Things I've Learned About Parenting By Watching Star Wars

Like most kids growing up in the '70s and '80s, my childhood revolved around Star Wars. That magical little trilogy was just the greatest thing ever invented next to snow days. Now that I'm grown and have kids of my own, I've had the sheer pleasure of reliving it all through their eyes. (As well as reliving the nightmare that is the Prequels.)

Now if you're a parent and you haven't seen Star Wars, well, what's wrong with you? Stop reading right this second, go rent Episodes IV - VI and watch them. Then we'll talk. For all you other folks, whether your kids are old enough to watch it or not, I've realized something pretty magical about that Galaxy far, far away.

Star Wars is a great teacher.

Not about war preparation or special effects or crazy alien languages. Uh uh. Star Wars is a wonderful resource for parents. There are a slew of powerful life lessons you can grasp from the movies to help shape your younglings' lives. I've compiled a list of the 10 most important parenting lessons you can absorb from watching Star Wars. Some of these are great advice for parents to follow, some are great to pass on to your kids, and many apply to both.

Read on and, of course, May the Force be With You.

1. Choose your destiny. Even if you have incredibly lofty goals, like say ruling the entire galaxy with your son by your side, it's their life, not yours. You need to let your kids follow their own path. Don't "Force" them into what you want them to become.

2. Do or do not. There is no try. Okay, so maybe Yoda's advice doesn't really apply to things like potty training or trying to ride a bicycle, but the essence of his fortune cookie ramblings is that you shouldn't be wishy washy with things. Make a decision and stand by it. Either do it or don't. Don't try it, meaning you don't give it your full attention.

3. Han shot first. True Star Wars fans will completely agree with me on this one. For those wondering what the heck I'm talking about, in the original Star Wars, Han Solo shoots Greedo in the cantina and then escapes. In George Lucas' updated Special Edition of the film, he changed it so that Greedo shot first and then Han fired in self-defense. The lesson here is twofold. First, it's okay that sometimes "good guys" do bad things. Or "not so nice" things. And second, you do NOT mess with a classic movie.

4. Love your sister. (But not like that!) Family is everything. Even if you grew up on completely different planets and didn't know about each other's existence, family is important. You should be there for each other. Just be sure you know who your biological sister is before you accidentally start playing tonsil hockey with her, okay? Ewwww...

5. Everyone's family is dysfunctional. Whether your father is the Dark Lord of the Sith, your single mother was a slave on a desert planet, or you literally have thousands of identical clone brothers, it doesn't matter. Every family is dysfunctional, so don't for a minute think yours is any weirder than someone else's.

6. Bullies never win. They can hurt you mentally and physically. They can create a fully operational planet-sized weapon of mass destruction. Twice. But no matter what, in the end, bullies will always get what they deserve.

7. Ignore the Smells. Hopefully you'll never find yourself stuck in a frozen tundra somewhere with the only means to your survival resting on the warm guts inside of a large, furry beast. But even still, parenting has its fair share of "ickiness" that you just need to suck up and look past. From projectile poop to puke, there's plenty of grossness that'd make any sane human run for the hills. But just like in life, sometimes you just have to roll up your sleeves, find some guts (preferably your own), and push on.

8. Teddy Bears have teeth. Always watch your back. Those cute adorable walking teddy bears may seem furry and harmless at first but they carry big sticks (and spears) and can do some serious damage if you're not careful. So never jump to quick conclusions about a person or situation without uncovering more details first.

9. Trust your instincts. All the data in the world and computerized targeting systems cannot replace human instinct. If you think you can hit the bullseye with your eyes closed, and you truly believe it and feel it, go with your gut. Same goes for any situation you just feel is wrong.

10. Let the Wookiee win. Pretty sound advice for anyone no matter their age.

 

Andrew Kardon is a daddy blogger over at Mommy's Busy, Go Ask Daddy, as well as a freelance writer. He regular contributes to Singlemommie.com where he dives into the super scary world of... parenting!