Choose Your Friends Wisely

I mentioned in my peer pressure post, I would talk about a girl I once knew.  I met this girl when we were in sixth grade and became friends; she was really shy but seemed really nice. Somewhere in seventh grade we weren’t friends anymore.  We both went through school without any interaction, we went to a huge school so it was possible and we didn’t have any classes together. We were never enemies, or got in verbal confrontations, she became a girl I would occasionally hear her name and maybe possibly see her in the hall. We both moved on with our lives and then in 2007 we became reacquainted. At first it was weird, because she didn’t really care for me much, but holding on to something that happened in the sixth grade is just silly. We became friends again; I wouldn’t consider that we were really close. She spent a lot of time with some of my other friends so we hung out. She and I hung out just us maybe three times to this day.  Shortly after this happened we moved to Florida, we still stayed in touch, because I hadn’t seen the big fireworks going off warning me to run for the hills.

I knew she had some issues with her ex, and stuff like that, I could relate to her in that respect. I knew that she was hurting and I wanted to reach out and be her friend. I remember a specific time that she threatened to call the cops on me, because I didn’t agree with the legal advice some lady was giving her. She wasn’t a lawyer, she actually didn’t know what she was talking about at all. So, this girl and I stopped talking, I can’t be mixed up in that. I am a mom and I don’t have time to really deal with this kind of behavior and then she called me. She used her “wounded animal” voice and I stupidly started talking to her again. This time she thought she was pregnant; well she always thought she was pregnant.

I felt sorry for her, she completely down spiraled from there.  She would meet these guys that were no good, she even went as far as trying to change her ultrasound from the child she miscarried to fake a pregnancy, which she later said it was a miscarriage. I have had a miscarriage and that really upset me and made me very angry. I started ignoring her calls, texts, ims you name it, I ignored it. That was not ok. I found out through mutual friends that she had been engaging in criminal activities. She would call the police at a drop of a hat, and it even got to the point where she cried wolf so many times, the police didn’t believe her anymore.  I was suckered in to talking to her a few more times, I felt bad, I wanted to help. You can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. I honestly still feel bad for her, but my family comes first. I can’t have someone who is engaging in behaviors where I could get in trouble and go to jail or worse around me or my family. I don’t want to be innocently going to the mall or out to eat with her and land in jail for her actions. That is not someone I want to be a role model. I know that it’s her life and her choices but personally, I can’t have that around me.

As I said before, I believe that you have the right to pick your own friends, but be careful and watch out for the warning signs that something might not be right. I would hate for any of you to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and regret it.

Let's Talk about Peer Pressure

I have been thinking a lot about peer pressure lately. It something we deal with from when we are little all through school.  We feel peer pressure when we are younger, to try drinking, smoke cigarettes, do drugs and even have sex. We also even felt pressure about the friends we had, and who we wanted to be in a relationship with.  People have missed out on great friends because of peer pressure. I am sure we all have been under that type of peer pressure and cracked and gave in. I know I have. It is normal to experience peer pressure and have the urge to fit in. I think that it is important to remember that the peer pressure you feel cannot be a good thing. You don’t gain anything valuable from it. It can ruin your life or hurt someone very deeply. You should make your own choices and go with what you believe is right.

I believe that there are still peer pressures as an adult. I used to think that when I was no longer in school that it would go away. I haven’t personally really felt too much peer pressure from my friends. Maybe on occasion when it comes to who I am friends with, I strongly believe that everyone has a choice who to be friends with, unless they are just a horrible person.  Even then you make the choice to not be around your friend’s friend. You should still be friends with your friend because of your own reasons. I wouldn’t suggest if the person is a criminal or does other questionable things that you should engage in that behavior. I will be writing a post about a girl I once considered a friend and possible warning signs of what is not OK in my opinion. I am no longer friends with the so-called friends that pressured me about who I was friends with.  I no longer feel peer pressure to do drugs or drink, I am not a drug addict so it is not a desire of mine at all. When I go out with friends, I don’t feel like I have to keep up with them buy drinking an insane amount of alcohol, because it is not my style.

I think that it is important to talk to your children about peer pressure and the dangers of those things. I was watching Boy Meets World and they were talking about peer pressure in an episode. I am sure your kids will say that they will never drink or do drugs, but when you are faced with it, and wanting to fit in, saying no might not be that easy.  Honesty is important when you are talking to your children about those serious topics. I am not saying they need to know about everything but if you open up to them, they will open up to you.  Spend some time explaining why you think that it is a bad idea. Open communication is extremely important.  I know I have said this before and I am sure I will say it again at least five more times, but I highly recommend you watch the movie Requiem for a Dream with your teenage child. It shows the real life consequences of drugs, sex, and addiction. It is not a movie that makes drugs look like fun or look cool. I know that everyone parents differently, but that is just what I think would work best in my family.

Do you still feel peer pressure as an adult?