The Long Term Effects of Bullying

When you are bullied as a child, it causes long term effects. Those names people call you, they cause long term effects.  You could carry it with you for a long time. It can play a huge part in decisions you make in your life.  It is something that could ruin your life when you are a child or even as an adult. When I was younger in elementary school, I was bullied; I was constantly called names, called weird, called crazy. I wasn’t crazy or weird. I was bullied by classmates and even by a couple family members. My own family members would call me crazy.  My dad’s mom and my aunt would tell my cousin I was crazy.  They would say oh you are in one of your moods.  It really hurt me and it still makes me want to cry to this day. I was just a kid going through a lot. My parents were divorcing and I was just trying to find my place.  I was treated like crap for no reason. I wasn’t a mean child, I was in fact the complete opposite, I was a sweet and loving little girl. 

When I was in jr. high I was made fun of. Everyone knew my name, not because I was popular, because it was some big joke. I am not sure what I did, or said to make everyone taunt me or whatever. I never knew. I was a sweet and loving girl. I had some friends who were nice to me when I was in elementary school and in jr. high, I just don’t know why I was the butt of some joke. I wasn’t doing anything crazy. It makes no sense. I wasn’t the most glamorous girl but I didn’t think I was too bad. I was average in my opinion. I think that bullying affected my life.  I made choices that weren’t smart. I chose toxic friends over and over again.  I just was so used to being made fun of and people being mean to me, that it was normal. I guess I allowed friends to be mean to me and hurt me over and over, because when you have nothing, anything seems better than that and you can take what you can get.

In high school, things got better. I had more friends, granted most of them were not the best choices. Especially my old best friend, she was so mean to me. I took it anyways. I wanted to have friends, so I looked the other way. Even when she and a bunch of people wrote a hateful note to me and it really hurt my feelings. There are many other times this girl has severely hurt my feelings, thankfully she is not in my life anymore. I have learned that there are good friends out there. 

I also think that the fact that I was bullied and called names had something to do with my relationship choices especially my ex-husband, who was abusive.  I am not saying it was my fault because no one deserves to be abused, physically, emotionally, mentally or verbally.  I just think it goes back to one of those things where when you are used to nothing you take what you can get.  I have completely changed my mind set when it comes to friends. I am no longer friends with anyone I deem toxic.  I am so blessed now to have so many great friends, who would never hurt me in the ways I have been hurt before. They love me for me, and I love them for them. We look past each other’s flaws and totally accept one another.

Those names you call others, those mean hurtful words, they do cause damage.  They are more than just words, there is a real human behind hearing them and you are crushing their spirit, self esteem and self worth. If you think that someone will forget about those mean things you said, chances are they still remember, and they probably are still hurt deep inside. They probably still think about you and how much you hurt them. I am sure you are thinking oh they need to get over it, or we were just kids, but really those are excuses. The words will linger for a long time.  You can steal their childhood, or part of their life, because of the turmoil and pain you caused.  You never know what someone is really going through, have some compassion. Teach your children compassion and empathy.  Teach your children to think before you speak or type you don’t want to be responsible for someone else’s pain or worse.

Craigslist Scams

I decided to make a scam series, this time I wanted to talk to you about Craigslist scams. I have never used Craigslist for buying or selling. Heck I won’t even use Freecycle even though I get emails for FOUR different locations. Call me cautious. I don’t really like the idea of contacting strangers and going to their home to pick up something. I know many people who have used craigslist for different things, but I have heard too many horror stories, including the craigslist rapist. I like to read craigslist when I am bored. It is kind of like how I used to read the Bargain ads in the paper. I just like to see what’s out there. I would probably never contact someone to actually buy something but I like to look. It’s just not for me and my family.
There are a lot of scams on craigslist especially with cars and even rental homes. If you do end up being a victim you can use  streamline refinance rates to refinance your home to find the lowest prices in your area .

Rule of thumb: If you have to ship a car from somewhere else rather or not you have to pay for shipping it is a scam.

Second Rule of thumb: If you can’t meet with the person in person and get the item or car or keys when you exchange money, it is a scam.

Third rule of thumb: Beware of Western Union, Money Orders, Moneygrams l etc. Heck if I were selling I wouldn’t take a check. I am a cash only type of gal.

I am sure craigslist is a great tool for those who use it, but please be careful in all transactions. If it sounds too good to be true, than it probably is.
Here are some more tips from Craigslist that is a must read if you want to use it. Protect yourself

Craigslist Scams

Let's talk about Sexual Harassment.

I want to talk to you about sexual harassment and how it not acceptable in any situation. It can happen to anyone anywhere. I thought I would share my story where I was sexually harassed by a car salesman. I was out with my old best friend one day like any other day, on this day we decided to go look at cars because she wanted to get a new one. I can’t remember the reason why now. We walked in to the local Acura car dealership and was greeted by a man named Bob. He was older and was in his late sixties. We found a car that she liked and we decided to take it out for a test drive. No big deal right? My old best friend ended up falling in love with the car and buying it.

Shortly after, I am talking a couple days after the phone calls started from Bob. The first call was about how she liked the car which we thought was normal. Then he would call everyday and he kept talking about taking us out to lunch. We didn’t think anything of it. We thought he was just trying to be nice after he obviously got a hefty commission from her new car. He would say things like I wanna take you girls out and show you a good time. We grew up in a very safe community together; the worst thing that had happened that we knew of was a triple murder when we were in sixth grade and at that time nothing like that had happened again. I guess we were naive and sheltered safe behind the city limits of where we grew up.

My old best friend decided she wanted to get a spoiler on her car. At the time she had started to develop really bad migraines. We went to the local Acura dealership again to get the spoiler put on and there was Bob. We tried to avoid him since he had been harassing us calling us on a frequent basis. I was living with her at the time so I knew when and how often he would call. The calls got weirder and weirder and it got to the point that the calls were sent to voicemail. I can still hear his creepy voice in my head almost 5 years later.

Well, he ended up being in the service area when we arrived. We were polite to him of course. He asked us how we were doing. I said I was fine or good or something along those lines. My old best friend mentioned her migraines to him because they were really bad. He responded by telling his about his problems with his male part in detail like we were his doctor or a good friend. It was and still is disturbing.

I really don’t want to know about some strangers penile problems. The other people that worked at Acura that overheard it didn’t say anything like that is inappropriate. Normal people don’t sit there and talk about their privates with a complete stranger or a customer. The calls continued until we got in to the car accident and the car was totaled. Every time I see the Acura dealership I think of Bob and get the chills. I wonder how many others are victims of Bob’s Sexual Harassment and obsessive phone calls.

Sexual harassment is not acceptable at all. You have the right to be out in public without someone making lewd comments or gestures at you. Some people think they have the right to say or do whatever they want without thinking about how it will affect others. Have you ever been a victim? We need to make a stand and use our voices and speak out against Sexual Harassment.