Faith and Relationships

I am kind of nervous writing this post.  I am not too sure how it will be received.

I asked on Twitter one day, if it was wrong that I want to have a relationship with a man who has the same faith I do? I mean we don’t have to be exactly on the same page about absolutely everything, but I would want someone who has the same fundamental beliefs I do.  I hope that doesn’t seem judgmental or anything but God is a huge part of my life and I want to be able to share it with my someday husband.   I want to be able to pray with him, read the Bible together, have discussions, and worship together. I personally believe that people with different beliefs in a relationship can strain the relationship.   I think a solid relationship is based on a foundation and you have to have similar belief systems.  When I think about this subject two things come to mind.  The first one is a bible verse.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken, if you are both wrapped around God your relationship is stronger.  Three is stronger than two strings that are just wrapped around each other.  This could be whatever you believe but for me it is God.

 The other thing I think of is an episode of Trading Spouses.  I think it is the only one I have ever watched and I have seen it twice.  The families are a Christian family and the other family is Orthodox Jewish, which means they are completely Kosher, they are very strict about dress and very old school with their beliefs.  When the Jewish mom is having dinner with the other family, she says it is important that her children marry someone who is also Orthodox Jewish. One of the family members said something along the lines of that’s judgmental.  The mother of the family agreed with the new mom and said it is important to have the same beliefs.   I have noticed people struggling with their relationships because they want to talk about their faith and the other person is not interested or even disrespectful about it.  It is ok that they don’t believe the same thing but I think that it is important to have that support system.

I have dated guys that don’t believe in God. I had some be rude about it and insult my faith. I never sat them down and tried to get them to believe in him. I respected their beliefs. I think it is easier when you have someone holding your hand and encouraging you to believe in your faith of choice and nurture it.  You definitely notice it more when you’re struggling in your faith without that support system.  It is in my opinion easier to get off the path you are on and be led astray.  I guess it is an accountability thing,  someone to keep you on track.

 Someone on Twitter responded it is important especially if you want kids down the road.  I totally agree. I am teaching Noah about God and Jesus.  His first DVD was God made Christmas. I love the God Made series. They are really cute DVDS.  I am not cramming it down his throat, he can make the choice when he is old enough to do so, but I want him to know about God.  We talk about God  together, pray together, he calls them God Blesses. It is important to me that he does. I want all my children to know about God.  I don’t want my future husband to derail my family’s beliefs.  I don’t want my children to hear that God isn’t real because he is.  I think that it becomes confusing for a child when they have parents that believe totally different things.  It becomes a struggle for the family and the child.  Things come together better when you are all together in faith and are able to grow in God (or whatever you believe in) as a family.

I Call Him Red

For as long as I can remember, I have always been attracted to guys with red hair. Not orange hair but dark red. Not famous men with red hair.  I like my famous men with gray hair (Mark Harmon and George Clooney).  It has to be natural red hair too. I don’t really think that fake red hair is attractive. I guess it must be the Irish in me.  I have dated a few guys with red hair. I am not sure what it is so alluring about it. My ex doesn’t have red hair. I guess I am a hair girl. I am mostly an eye girl. I like those eyes that you can get lost in and see the depths of the person’s soul. 

Of course appearance is not everything and personality wins over every time.  A good personality is the most important thing because that is what truly makes up a person. As the brilliant Judge Judy says…. Beauty fades…Stupid is forever.  You never know what the future will bring. I know that a lot of people focus what is on the outside but your outer beauty could be taken from you in an instant. Your inner beauty is forever. Nothing can take that from you as long as your heart is good and you remain true to yourself.  I am sure my dream guy is out there somewhere with red hair and a heart of gold.

So, as a lame attempt to meet a guy… If you have red hair or know of a guy who is single and nice let me know!

Have a little compassion

Where has all the compassion gone? Seriously, I don’t know why people think it is funny or nice to make fun of people because they dress different than you or are a different race or look different. It is not cool to say go to a store and take a picture of a stranger and then exploit them on a website where they purposely make fun of people and the way they look. Not everyone dresses the same. That is part of being different and unique. Just because someone is not dressed like a cookie cutter image of what is in a fashion magazine does not by any means give someone the right to hurt their feelings or make fun of them. Most people do not walk around trying to get on a stupid website. I am sure there are many people that don’t know what it is. I also think that they don’t do it for attention either. Maybe they never will know that they are being laughed at behind a computer screen but maybe someone they love will see it or it really doesn’t matter because it is wrong in my opinion. I doubt someone would want to be made fun of on a website that is mean spirited disguised as humor.

I also don’t think it is funny when people make jokes about disabled people to be funny. They say things like special Ed this and helmet that. People with disabilities are people first and the disability is just a challenge and a part of them. Do I think that everyone that uses the R word and tells jokes about disabilities is purposely making fun of those that have those challenges? No, not always, I know it is “acceptable” in our society but that makes it wrong none the less. Think before you speak, and have some compassion and understanding. Embrace other peoples differences don’t draw a line between you.

There is room for everyone in this world. The world is such a big place. I think that there should be room for everyone to be whom they are and feel comfortable enough to where they can and not be exploited and made fun of for doing so. Everyone is different and that is great! I wish people looked more on the inside than on the outside. In a perfect world they would, but sadly it is not and people will continue to be cruel and uncaring. I invite you to help make a difference by bringing back a little compassion. Maybe it will spread like wild fire and encourage others to be compassionate.

I grew up being taught about compassion and being caring. I was taught it is wrong to make fun of people because they are different. I was taught that words that put down groups of people are wrong. I am teaching my son the same things. I was taught to love and accept people for who they are, not what they look like. It really is heartbreaking to me. I am going to make sure my son has the same morals I have. I think that I have really strong morals and a big heart and I can tell even at age 3 Noah also has a big heart. I hope to teach him and show him that differences are not a bad thing.

I hope you take a little time to think about others feelings and sit down and talk to your children about compassion and embracing differences. I think that would help the world be a better place.