Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Dating Single Mom Style

Being a single mom can be very hard. It of course has its advantages and disadvantages. The advantages are way more important than the disadvantages of course. When you are divorced with a child or a single mom you have the urge to want to date. I am only thirty one and I would love to have a bunch more children. Some moms decide not to date or have no desire to be in a relationship again, but I am not in that group. I am however not really in any rush to do so. I know my biological clock is ticking and for someone who wants many more children, it is a little unnerving. I am however a mom. That doesn't mean that my needs aren't important. It means my son's needs are most important.  I am actually pretty nervous about dating anyone. I have set two important rules however.

The first rule is I have to be very serious with a guy before they meet Noah. We will have to be together a long time. He is my life and I don't want him getting attached unless it is the real deal. I don't want to be someone who brings a lot of relationships around my son. I don't want to be like this is my friend so and so, unless they are just a friend. I don't want him to bond with some random person who he may or may not see again. It's too confusing and hard for him.

My second rule is and I won't tell Noah he has this power, but if Noah doesn't like the guy, I won't per sue things further. I don't ever want to be with someone my son doesn't like. I don't want to be under the impression that things will get better and he will eventually like the guy. Kids are great judge of character, in my opinion. I am really  good at reading Noah and I know the difference between when he is genuine and when he is just being a grump.

I am nervous about dating someone because you never know who they are. I will totally Google the heck out of you, search court records, and find out whatever I can about the guy, before the first date. I  am not paranoid or crazy, but I don't live in some fairy tale world that thinks that bad people don't exist. I know that they do unfortunately. I will be well informed about who this person is. I will also trust my gut and know that if I feels like something isn't right, then it probably isn't. Women's intuition is important.

I am not really in any hurry. I definitely don't want to rush anything. I am fine with meeting someone and just talking for a long time before anything happens. I am more in to taking the time to making the right decision and going slow.  I want to make sure it is worth it vs. just jumping in and taking the risk and seeing what happens.  It's funny how when you are a parent, you change your thinking about everything.

When you are ready to meet a guy you should dress up nicely and don't forget to accessorize.

23 comments:

  1. Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders!

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  2. I think your rules are great! Dating as a single mom definitely has its challenges, but I know you will find the perfect person one day!

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  3. I love this post. So honest. I wish you luck!

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  4. I hope you meet someone who is the "real deal". :) xo

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  5. I think your views on dating are spot on. If I was a single mom I'd do the same, not introducing my child until it was serious & letting my kid have the final say. I hope you are able to find a wonderful guy who treats you both right & gives you lots of babies!

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  6. I met my hubby on Match and several of my friends met their significant other online as well. You have to wade through a ton of losers to get to the right one, but obviously it is worth it in the end.

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  8. Sounds like you got this down. Good luck with the dating scene.

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  9. It looks like a good plan. I hope you find someone.

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  10. Good luck mama! I had a hard time dating when I was a young single mom too, there are so many weirdos out there!

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  11. You definitely know what you're doing. I was a single mom at one point. Now happily married for 5 years :)

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  12. Good luck! You have a really great outlook and I'm excited for you!

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  13. I am glad that you put Noah first.

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  14. Good Luck girl, you deserve it!

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  15. I hope you meet the one for you and your son soon.

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  16. You certainly are not just playing around and are setting a good example for your son. I hope you find someone that can appreciate how special of a mother and woman you are :)

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  17. such important values and I too never introduced men to my son until I was sure the relationship was serious

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  18. I think you are smart to have all of these rules, boundaries and guidelines. :)

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  19. I'm not single but wish you luck!

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  20. I hope you find someone who loves both you and Noah for how special you are. Your idea of dating is spot on.

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  21. Good luck for when you're ready to get back out there. My mother was in the group of not wanting to date again. I know she's still happy with that decision, but you're right that everyone has different feelings on that.

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