Being a single mom can be very hard. It of course has its advantages and
disadvantages. The advantages are way more important than the
disadvantages of course. When you are divorced with a child or a single
mom you have the urge to want to date. I am only thirty one and I would
love to have a bunch more children. Some moms decide not to date or have
no desire to be in a relationship again, but I am not in that group. I
am however not really in any rush to do so. I know my biological clock
is ticking and for someone who wants many more children, it is a little
unnerving. I am however a mom. That doesn't mean that my needs aren't
important. It means my son's needs are most important. I am actually
pretty nervous about dating anyone. I have set two important rules
however.
The first rule is I have to be very serious with a guy
before they meet Noah. We will have to be together a long time. He is my
life and I don't want him getting attached unless it is the real deal. I
don't want to be someone who brings a lot of relationships around my
son. I don't want to be like this is my friend so and so, unless they
are just a friend. I don't want him to bond with some random person who
he may or may not see again. It's too confusing and hard for him.
My
second rule is and I won't tell Noah he has this power, but if Noah
doesn't like the guy, I won't per sue things further. I don't ever want
to be with someone my son doesn't like. I don't want to be under the
impression that things will get better and he will eventually like the
guy. Kids are great judge of character, in my opinion. I am really good
at reading Noah and I know the difference between when he is genuine
and when he is just being a grump.
I am nervous about dating
someone because you never know who they are. I will totally Google the
heck out of you, search court records, and find out whatever I can about
the guy, before the first date. I am not paranoid or crazy, but I
don't live in some fairy tale world that thinks that bad people don't
exist. I know that they do unfortunately. I will be well informed about
who this person is. I will also trust my gut and know that if I feels
like something isn't right, then it probably isn't. Women's intuition is
important.
I am not really in any hurry. I definitely don't
want to rush anything. I am fine with meeting someone and just talking
for a long time before anything happens. I am more in to taking the time
to making the right decision and going slow. I want to make sure it is
worth it vs. just jumping in and taking the risk and seeing what
happens. It's funny how when you are a parent, you change your thinking
about everything.
When you are ready to meet a guy you should dress up nicely and don't forget to accessorize.
Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders!
ReplyDeleteI think your rules are great! Dating as a single mom definitely has its challenges, but I know you will find the perfect person one day!
ReplyDeleteI love this post. So honest. I wish you luck!
ReplyDeleteI hope you meet someone who is the "real deal". :) xo
ReplyDeleteI think your views on dating are spot on. If I was a single mom I'd do the same, not introducing my child until it was serious & letting my kid have the final say. I hope you are able to find a wonderful guy who treats you both right & gives you lots of babies!
ReplyDeleteI met my hubby on Match and several of my friends met their significant other online as well. You have to wade through a ton of losers to get to the right one, but obviously it is worth it in the end.
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Sounds like you got this down. Good luck with the dating scene.
ReplyDeleteIt looks like a good plan. I hope you find someone.
ReplyDeleteGood luck mama! I had a hard time dating when I was a young single mom too, there are so many weirdos out there!
ReplyDeleteYou definitely know what you're doing. I was a single mom at one point. Now happily married for 5 years :)
ReplyDeleteI hope you meet "the one"!!
ReplyDeleteGood luck! You have a really great outlook and I'm excited for you!
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you put Noah first.
ReplyDeleteGood Luck girl, you deserve it!
ReplyDeleteI hope you meet the one for you and your son soon.
ReplyDeleteYou certainly are not just playing around and are setting a good example for your son. I hope you find someone that can appreciate how special of a mother and woman you are :)
ReplyDeletesuch important values and I too never introduced men to my son until I was sure the relationship was serious
ReplyDeleteAll the best!!!!
ReplyDeleteI think you are smart to have all of these rules, boundaries and guidelines. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not single but wish you luck!
ReplyDeleteI hope you find someone who loves both you and Noah for how special you are. Your idea of dating is spot on.
ReplyDeleteGood luck for when you're ready to get back out there. My mother was in the group of not wanting to date again. I know she's still happy with that decision, but you're right that everyone has different feelings on that.
ReplyDelete