Handling Finances as a Single Mom

Since I am a single mom, who doesn’t receive any child support, money is really tight for me. I am fine with the fact that I don’t receive child support from my ex-husband.  It just means I have to be a little creative when it comes to spending money and planning my budget. My income can be steady or sporadic, it just depends on what I have going on.  I have learned to save for a rainy day or a rainy month.  It’s really important for me to plan for months that I may not have much money coming in.  I recently explained it to my friend as being a squirrel gathering nuts for the winter. I also use a lot of coupons, shop sales and go to the dollar store. My trips to the dollar store can be risky but I have gotten a lot better about buying random stuff. I can’t take Noah in there though; it is a disaster waiting to happen. Being a single mom is rough when you are the mom and dad. Once you throw in the financial burden it can be difficult without a plan. My good friends at Genworth have all kinds of tools that can help me plan for my present and future financial needs. I really like the Plan Workbook to help me plan long term.


 

I am happy that I am able to be home with my son and not have to worry about who will watch him after school or when he gets sick. I am pretty lucky. I feel that I would rather have this precious time with Noah than make a lot of money where I am working long hours away from him.

Someday, I would love to meet a nice guy and ultimately get married again. Daily Finance has a great article about tips to help protect your finances before you move in with someone.  After talking to some of my older friends, it is common for a husband and a wife to have separate bank accounts.  I know that sounds kind of odd. If you can’t share money, then maybe you shouldn’t get married or live together. I think it is more common when you have been married a couple times. It is extremely important not to share a bank account with the person you are living with, even if it a serious relationship. They could take all your money and be in the wind. You shouldn’t get an animal with the person you are dating.  When you want to just walk away, you are bound by doggie custody agreements and joint vet bills.  You can really lose everything you worked hard for.  Be sure to take a few extra steps to protect your assets before it is too late. Love can be blind and doesn’t always last.

This post was inspired by Genworth and Brandfluential. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Dating Single Mom Style

Being a single mom can be very hard. It of course has its advantages and disadvantages. The advantages are way more important than the disadvantages of course. When you are divorced with a child or a single mom you have the urge to want to date. I am only thirty one and I would love to have a bunch more children. Some moms decide not to date or have no desire to be in a relationship again, but I am not in that group. I am however not really in any rush to do so. I know my biological clock is ticking and for someone who wants many more children, it is a little unnerving. I am however a mom. That doesn't mean that my needs aren't important. It means my son's needs are most important.  I am actually pretty nervous about dating anyone. I have set two important rules however.

The first rule is I have to be very serious with a guy before they meet Noah. We will have to be together a long time. He is my life and I don't want him getting attached unless it is the real deal. I don't want to be someone who brings a lot of relationships around my son. I don't want to be like this is my friend so and so, unless they are just a friend. I don't want him to bond with some random person who he may or may not see again. It's too confusing and hard for him.

My second rule is and I won't tell Noah he has this power, but if Noah doesn't like the guy, I won't per sue things further. I don't ever want to be with someone my son doesn't like. I don't want to be under the impression that things will get better and he will eventually like the guy. Kids are great judge of character, in my opinion. I am really  good at reading Noah and I know the difference between when he is genuine and when he is just being a grump.

I am nervous about dating someone because you never know who they are. I will totally Google the heck out of you, search court records, and find out whatever I can about the guy, before the first date. I  am not paranoid or crazy, but I don't live in some fairy tale world that thinks that bad people don't exist. I know that they do unfortunately. I will be well informed about who this person is. I will also trust my gut and know that if I feels like something isn't right, then it probably isn't. Women's intuition is important.

I am not really in any hurry. I definitely don't want to rush anything. I am fine with meeting someone and just talking for a long time before anything happens. I am more in to taking the time to making the right decision and going slow.  I want to make sure it is worth it vs. just jumping in and taking the risk and seeing what happens.  It's funny how when you are a parent, you change your thinking about everything.

When you are ready to meet a guy you should dress up nicely and don't forget to accessorize.