It is so funny to watch Noah. He reminds me so much of me when I was little. If you were in my family you would know about the infamous Here’s Bozo video. I think I even talked about it on my blog before. I said something like Ladies and Gentleman Here’s Bozo and ran in the room over and over and eventually fell down. Recently, Noah was running around the house saying Ladies and Gentleman, Start your engines or something along those lines. Another thing he does is he talks like I did when I was little. On the same video I am sitting in our plastic swimming pool and I ask my mom to get our beach towels and I said We have towels. Noah says we have *insert whatever he is talking about* and he says it the same way I did when I was well his age.
Today, I had a mess to clean up. I am assuming it was payback for the baby powder from when I was little. I dumped a whole bottle of baby powder on myself, my old best friend and all over the room. It was that dreaded Talc kind and I am sure I inhaled a ton of it and I turned out ok. Well, I thought I would be smart and put the baby powder up where Mr. Noah couldn’t reach it. He found some Wilton powdered royal icing that I totally forgot I had bought, it was in a cupcake kit. I guess I should look on the bright side and he only opened one package and not everything. It was a total mess though. Powdered Royal icing all over the counter, the floor, the stove top, and my son who decided it would be fun to make foot prints with it. He also was rolling his trains and fire trucks in it. He also had a whole package of cupcake wrappers strategically placed on the floor. I thought maybe he was trying to make cupcakes or a treat for his mommy. Well needless to say I was not amused. It was kinda funny but it was a pain to clean up. It took forever to sweep it, mop it etc, while not making icing because that would have been a total pain in the butt.
I was reminded of my grandma Rose as I was cleaning it up. We used to make paste for crafts with flour and water all the time. I also remembered doing Paper Maché with my cousin Susie, I think it was Susie. It was a long time ago, if it wasn’t Susie, it was Rory. I can’t count how many crafts we did with my grandma and assorted cousins.
After I cleaned it all up, I sat him down for a talk. He was in trouble. I wanted to know what he was doing exactly. He told me he was making it snow inside. I explained that it doesn’t snow in our house and to not get in to things he knows not to get in to. He doesn’t like to talk about it, because he knew he was in big trouble. He also learned that even mommy got in trouble when she was little. I always follow up time outs and punishments with hugs and kisses and I love yous.
Noah is definitely a character, like I was. I wonder where he comes up with this stuff.
Do you see your children doing the same silly things you did when you were a child? I would love to hear your stories.
Showing posts with label me. Show all posts
Showing posts with label me. Show all posts
Friday, November 19, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Pippi Longstocking Day
In a post I wrote about my friend Adrianna, I said that I would write a post about Pippi Longstocking Day. We were hanging out at her house. We had a picnic of Papa John’s Pizza and decided to eat it in the woods behind her house. Well we got lost in the woods and thought we would have to live in the woods because we didn’t think we would ever get out. Of course the wood was not that big and we managed to get out of the woods.
Later we decided to clean up the house because it was a mess. Well we decided to run the dishwasher at least. We loaded it up and put in the soap and thought we would go play basketball in her driveway. We shot hoops for a while and came back inside. We noticed that the floor was all wet and very soapy. It looked like something straight out of a sitcom. We figured out that you can’t put Dawn in the dishwasher. It said so on the label but who really reads the label? Not us apparently. Her parents were gone and we didn’t want to get in trouble. See, Adrianna’s parents are very nice but they are also very strict sometimes.
I decided to call the 1800 number and hope and pray for the best. Somehow we managed to get all the soap out of the dishwasher and then we were just left with the mess. The expensive dishwasher was fine. So, being the brilliant young women we are decided to steal a page out of Pippi Longstocking’s playbook and use sponges on our feet and “mop” up the mess. We also used many towels and it was quite comical and scary at the same time. The floor was very slippery and time was ticking away fast. We were also soaked. We were worried that they would come home and find out what happened. We were really worried that we wouldn’t be able to be friends anymore and that we would get in so much trouble. It took what seemed forever to get it all cleaned up. We changed our clothes, so there wasn’t any evidence. We didn’t speak a word of Pippi Longstocking Day to anyone.
I spent the night at Adrianna’s that night. It was a very stormy night, so we decided to sleep in the basement. We were watching TV and playing really late. Her house had a really sensitive security system and they of course had it on, so we had to make sure we didn’t slam doors, or make too much noise. That was nothing new though. As we were lying in bed watching TV at midnight, the doorbell rang. It scared us. Who shows up at someone’s house at midnight? Adrianna’s parents are very respectable and responsible adults so no one would just show up without calling. Someone checked but there was no one out there. That really freaked us out. We managed to be able to fall asleep after such a long and crazy day.
The next morning we woke up to sirens and flashing lights. We found out that a house couple doors down had been struck by lightning. The family had kids that Adrianna was friends with, so we played with them sometimes. It was really scary but thankfully no one was hurt. We found out that when the lightning struck the neighbors house the doorbell rang at Adrianna’s house and wait for it………
BROKE AND FRIED ADRIANNA’S FAMILY’S DISHWASHER.
The dishwasher we were so concerned about not breaking less than 24 hours before.
Later we decided to clean up the house because it was a mess. Well we decided to run the dishwasher at least. We loaded it up and put in the soap and thought we would go play basketball in her driveway. We shot hoops for a while and came back inside. We noticed that the floor was all wet and very soapy. It looked like something straight out of a sitcom. We figured out that you can’t put Dawn in the dishwasher. It said so on the label but who really reads the label? Not us apparently. Her parents were gone and we didn’t want to get in trouble. See, Adrianna’s parents are very nice but they are also very strict sometimes.
I decided to call the 1800 number and hope and pray for the best. Somehow we managed to get all the soap out of the dishwasher and then we were just left with the mess. The expensive dishwasher was fine. So, being the brilliant young women we are decided to steal a page out of Pippi Longstocking’s playbook and use sponges on our feet and “mop” up the mess. We also used many towels and it was quite comical and scary at the same time. The floor was very slippery and time was ticking away fast. We were also soaked. We were worried that they would come home and find out what happened. We were really worried that we wouldn’t be able to be friends anymore and that we would get in so much trouble. It took what seemed forever to get it all cleaned up. We changed our clothes, so there wasn’t any evidence. We didn’t speak a word of Pippi Longstocking Day to anyone.
I spent the night at Adrianna’s that night. It was a very stormy night, so we decided to sleep in the basement. We were watching TV and playing really late. Her house had a really sensitive security system and they of course had it on, so we had to make sure we didn’t slam doors, or make too much noise. That was nothing new though. As we were lying in bed watching TV at midnight, the doorbell rang. It scared us. Who shows up at someone’s house at midnight? Adrianna’s parents are very respectable and responsible adults so no one would just show up without calling. Someone checked but there was no one out there. That really freaked us out. We managed to be able to fall asleep after such a long and crazy day.
The next morning we woke up to sirens and flashing lights. We found out that a house couple doors down had been struck by lightning. The family had kids that Adrianna was friends with, so we played with them sometimes. It was really scary but thankfully no one was hurt. We found out that when the lightning struck the neighbors house the doorbell rang at Adrianna’s house and wait for it………
BROKE AND FRIED ADRIANNA’S FAMILY’S DISHWASHER.
The dishwasher we were so concerned about not breaking less than 24 hours before.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Email Scams
Lately I have noticed an increase in scams on the internet. There are a lot of scammers that contact you through email. Some of the time it is really obvious it is a scam like when they say you won some ridiculous amount from some kind of lottery. Sometimes I wish that it was real because I would be a multi-trillionaire because “I win” many times a day, every day. Then you have scams that you get through email that make you wonder if it is real. Before I had Noah I signed up for those babysitting and nanny websites. I have had a lot of experience with kids and worked in quite a few daycares and preschools. I went to meet some families and they were all too far away from where I was living and not worth the amount of money I made by the time you took out time and gas for travel there and back.
Of course I got the emails from people wanting me to relocate to like England or New York. I knew those were scams but, when I was pregnant with Noah I got an email. It was from a lady who was relocating to my city and was looking for a nanny. She named a website that I was a member of. I was really excited, it was after all really personalized and everything. I thought that I had a job. I started emailing her back and forth and she said some stuff that started not making sense, like she wanted to send me a check and I would buy her child some toys. I thought that was weird. I have always been taught if it sounds too good to be true than it probably was. I decided to google babysitting scams, the woman’s name etc. I mean her name wasn’t like an obvious scammers name. I finally figured out that my suspicions where true and it was a scam. I was lucky that I hadn’t given her any information accepted a check from her that would have been fake and some horrible tragedy happened and I would have to send money via western union. Some people are not as lucky as me and lose their savings or even end up on Judge Judy.
Scammers are getting more creative and smart. I mean I was reached out through a legitimate website that I was a member of. It wasn’t the first time I was contacted from that site that was looking for a babysitter. I urge you to use precaution when you respond to emails that sound too good be true. You might say you’d never fall for it, and I almost did.
Of course I got the emails from people wanting me to relocate to like England or New York. I knew those were scams but, when I was pregnant with Noah I got an email. It was from a lady who was relocating to my city and was looking for a nanny. She named a website that I was a member of. I was really excited, it was after all really personalized and everything. I thought that I had a job. I started emailing her back and forth and she said some stuff that started not making sense, like she wanted to send me a check and I would buy her child some toys. I thought that was weird. I have always been taught if it sounds too good to be true than it probably was. I decided to google babysitting scams, the woman’s name etc. I mean her name wasn’t like an obvious scammers name. I finally figured out that my suspicions where true and it was a scam. I was lucky that I hadn’t given her any information accepted a check from her that would have been fake and some horrible tragedy happened and I would have to send money via western union. Some people are not as lucky as me and lose their savings or even end up on Judge Judy.
Scammers are getting more creative and smart. I mean I was reached out through a legitimate website that I was a member of. It wasn’t the first time I was contacted from that site that was looking for a babysitter. I urge you to use precaution when you respond to emails that sound too good be true. You might say you’d never fall for it, and I almost did.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Plastic Balloons
Have you ever played with plastic balloons? They come in little tubes and you put a little of the goop on a straw and blow it up? They also smell kind of funny. I used to love to play with them. I found some at the dollar store a while back and I of course had to buy them. I have great memories of being at my grandparents playing with plastic balloons. I decided I would play with them shortly after I bought them. I was talking to my friend Brandy when I was doing them being a complete dork. I decided I would hit one like a volley ball and I hit it in to my spinning ceiling fan. It was a stupid thing to do. I was really scared. I didn’t mean to hit it THAT hard. Thankfully it didn’t do anything but pop and stick to my ceiling fan. Oops.
Sometimes they get holes in them when you blow them up and you have to either fix the hole or put your finger over it then fix it. It’s easy to do you just pinch it. My favorite thing to do is pop them. I will introduce Noah to them when he gets quite a bit older, since they smell so bad and are kind of tricky. I want to share the memories with my son someday.
Do you remember plastic balloons? Did you play with them as a child?
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Wordless Wednesday: Dragonfly
I found this dragonfly on my front porch, it was perfect and dead. Noah loves bugs so seeing this dragonfly was a real treat. He wanted to keep it for a pet. It was on our front porch for a few days until the wind took it and blew it away.
Friday, September 24, 2010
Foods I Won't Eat
Recently, I have been thinking about foods I refuse to eat, mainly meats I won’t eat. Yes, I eat meat but there are some I refuse to have in my mouth for various reasons.
1.Lamb – I don’t care how good you think it tastes. I will not eat lamb in any way shape or form. All I can think of is Poor little Lamb Chop and who would eat Lamb chop?
2. Duck- No Duck for me. No thank you. No Turkducken or roasted duck that is just plain yuck. Ducks weren’t meant to be eaten in my opinion.
3. Goat- Sorry Annie. No goats for me.
I don’t have a problem with those that choose to eat these items but, please if I am coming to dinner, don’t serve them to me and tell me they are something else, I will know. People always say to me: “You’ll eat alligator but you won’t eat, lamb or duck?” I always respond with yep, crazy huh?”
This reminds me of a trip to North Carolina I took. I went to go see my friends Logan and Loretta; they kept talking about liver mush. I had no clue what livermush was. There were signs for livermush everywhere. Even on the marquee at Walgreens. I thought it just had a weird name. I never did make the connection that it was liver! Call me naïve. I thought liver mush would be like grits. I have never had grits but I thought it would be mush, after all it is called livermush. I took the name literally, but the wrong part. Somehow they managed to convince me to try it. It looked like sausage. I think they told me it was sausage or something. I can’t remember how they got me to try it. I do remember trying it. It did not taste like sausage. It was gross. Never again will I eat livermush. Never again!
My friend Logan aka the Jerky King passed away in November 2008 suddenly. I miss him a lot. We had many good times together and laughed a lot. Loretta’s mom thought Logan and I were having an affair but we weren’t. That whole trip to visit them was truly an adventure, you wouldn’t believe it if I told you. It was so messed up from the get go. I will blog about it sometime. I am so glad that I had the chance to know Logan. He was a great friend.
There are many other foods I won’t eat. Listing them all would take a coon’s age. What are some foods that you will eat?
1.Lamb – I don’t care how good you think it tastes. I will not eat lamb in any way shape or form. All I can think of is Poor little Lamb Chop and who would eat Lamb chop?
2. Duck- No Duck for me. No thank you. No Turkducken or roasted duck that is just plain yuck. Ducks weren’t meant to be eaten in my opinion.
3. Goat- Sorry Annie. No goats for me.
I don’t have a problem with those that choose to eat these items but, please if I am coming to dinner, don’t serve them to me and tell me they are something else, I will know. People always say to me: “You’ll eat alligator but you won’t eat, lamb or duck?” I always respond with yep, crazy huh?”
This reminds me of a trip to North Carolina I took. I went to go see my friends Logan and Loretta; they kept talking about liver mush. I had no clue what livermush was. There were signs for livermush everywhere. Even on the marquee at Walgreens. I thought it just had a weird name. I never did make the connection that it was liver! Call me naïve. I thought liver mush would be like grits. I have never had grits but I thought it would be mush, after all it is called livermush. I took the name literally, but the wrong part. Somehow they managed to convince me to try it. It looked like sausage. I think they told me it was sausage or something. I can’t remember how they got me to try it. I do remember trying it. It did not taste like sausage. It was gross. Never again will I eat livermush. Never again!
My friend Logan aka the Jerky King passed away in November 2008 suddenly. I miss him a lot. We had many good times together and laughed a lot. Loretta’s mom thought Logan and I were having an affair but we weren’t. That whole trip to visit them was truly an adventure, you wouldn’t believe it if I told you. It was so messed up from the get go. I will blog about it sometime. I am so glad that I had the chance to know Logan. He was a great friend.
There are many other foods I won’t eat. Listing them all would take a coon’s age. What are some foods that you will eat?
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Camping in Florida
Lately Noah has been obsessed with camping. He talks about it constantly. Most of the time he talks about wanting to go camping in Florida, not sure why he always picks Florida but I think it would be awesome to camp on the beach. I wonder if they make special camping tents for camping on the beach. It would be amazing to camp at Fort Desoto, which happens to be my mom’s favorite beach. I would be kind of afraid that out camping gear would be swept out to sea during high tide. I am sure we wouldn’t camp really close to the water, so the odds of that happening would be slim to none. Of course you know days before if a hurricane is coming and so I think it would be pretty safe. I would love to wake up in the morning and unzip my tent and see the beautiful ocean and have my lungs full of the sea air. Talk about the perfect view.
My whole family loves the beach. I think my mom would be perfectly happy with a tent on the beach somewhere. She loves it that much. I am not sure if I could picture my mom camping on the beach as a residence, but I am sure we would have a great time camping together as a family. You can really camp many places. In the woods, at the beach, in your backyard, all that matters is you have fun with your loved ones and stay safe of course. Right now we can’t have open fires in my county because it has been so dry this summer. No campfires, bonfires or fire pits. So my longing to roast marshmallows will have to wait until another day. Noah wants to roast flowers. I don’t think he fully understood the meaning of roast. I spent the day explaining what roasting is and how it is not safe to do it in a tent. Shortly after our conversation he decided that he rather roast marshmallows.
My whole family loves the beach. I think my mom would be perfectly happy with a tent on the beach somewhere. She loves it that much. I am not sure if I could picture my mom camping on the beach as a residence, but I am sure we would have a great time camping together as a family. You can really camp many places. In the woods, at the beach, in your backyard, all that matters is you have fun with your loved ones and stay safe of course. Right now we can’t have open fires in my county because it has been so dry this summer. No campfires, bonfires or fire pits. So my longing to roast marshmallows will have to wait until another day. Noah wants to roast flowers. I don’t think he fully understood the meaning of roast. I spent the day explaining what roasting is and how it is not safe to do it in a tent. Shortly after our conversation he decided that he rather roast marshmallows.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Is It Just an Urban Legend?
I love learning about Urban Legends. I am not exactly sure when I learned about them. I remember I would spend hours reading about them online. I think they are so interesting. It becomes like a giant game of telephone. I am sure you remember playing telephone where you tell someone something and by the time it gets passed down it has changed. They also play in to our worst fears that these things can happen. They have been around for a coon’s age. They are recycled throughout the ages and also updated to fit the times. Maybe it has to do with the first time I saw Adventures in Babysitting with the man with the hook, which is a very famous urban legend.
Some of them are really scary, I remember there would be times when I just had to shut the web page because I was scared. I know that people have written ghost stories about them as a basis. It always ends up being kind of ironic, escaping death only to die a more gruesome death a few moments later. They are things that could possibly happen but no one actually knows for sure. It’s always a friend of a friend that it happened to. I believe they are also a good scare tactic of the unknown.
I remember when I saw the movie Urban Legends, I was dating a guy named Steve, and we went out to eat and then to the movie and drank hot chocolate. I don’t do well with scary things. So, I was freaked out a little. Thankfully Steve was a nice guy that didn’t try and scare me. So, Steve where ever you are Thanks! I am a big baby though and get scared really easily. I didn’t really like the movie too terribly much because it scared me. It was making them real and they were no longer urban legends. I am not sure if I have seen the second one and I am not sure I want to . I haven’t watched the movie pretty much after it came out. No thanks. Nothing scary for me, I get nightmares and I can’t sleep for days. I avoid scary movies at all costs. I am sure you are thinking that movie wasn’t scary but like I said I am a baby.
I do however love to watch the tv show Urban Legends on the Biography Channel. It is on Saturdays at noon and there are 4 episodes that play. I like it because they tell you three stories and you have to decide which is fact and which is just an Urban Legend. I like that they tell some things that really happen. I think that is why I like Snopes because they tell you if it is true, false or unknown. When I watch Urban Legends I find myself thinking, I really hope that is an urban legend, because that is nasty or scary etc. Usually it is but there is always one that is real and really happened. They even go as far as occasionally having the people that it happened to on the show saying my name is such and such and this is true. If it is not true they sometimes explain why it can’t be true.
Do you like urban legends? What are some of your favorites? Do you watch the show on Biography?
Some of them are really scary, I remember there would be times when I just had to shut the web page because I was scared. I know that people have written ghost stories about them as a basis. It always ends up being kind of ironic, escaping death only to die a more gruesome death a few moments later. They are things that could possibly happen but no one actually knows for sure. It’s always a friend of a friend that it happened to. I believe they are also a good scare tactic of the unknown.
I remember when I saw the movie Urban Legends, I was dating a guy named Steve, and we went out to eat and then to the movie and drank hot chocolate. I don’t do well with scary things. So, I was freaked out a little. Thankfully Steve was a nice guy that didn’t try and scare me. So, Steve where ever you are Thanks! I am a big baby though and get scared really easily. I didn’t really like the movie too terribly much because it scared me. It was making them real and they were no longer urban legends. I am not sure if I have seen the second one and I am not sure I want to . I haven’t watched the movie pretty much after it came out. No thanks. Nothing scary for me, I get nightmares and I can’t sleep for days. I avoid scary movies at all costs. I am sure you are thinking that movie wasn’t scary but like I said I am a baby.
I do however love to watch the tv show Urban Legends on the Biography Channel. It is on Saturdays at noon and there are 4 episodes that play. I like it because they tell you three stories and you have to decide which is fact and which is just an Urban Legend. I like that they tell some things that really happen. I think that is why I like Snopes because they tell you if it is true, false or unknown. When I watch Urban Legends I find myself thinking, I really hope that is an urban legend, because that is nasty or scary etc. Usually it is but there is always one that is real and really happened. They even go as far as occasionally having the people that it happened to on the show saying my name is such and such and this is true. If it is not true they sometimes explain why it can’t be true.
Do you like urban legends? What are some of your favorites? Do you watch the show on Biography?
Monday, September 13, 2010
Judge Noah?
It all started when I was pregnant with Noah, I would watch Judge shows all the time. I even watched them when I was on bed rest in the hospital. The nurses kept asking me if Noah was going to be a lawyer, which I didn’t find amusing extremely pregnant, on bed rest in the hospital for TWO weeks. Half the time I had to call a nurse to go to the bathroom so, those couple weeks was not the most pleasant thing to experience. Now I have been watching judge shows for years, I really enjoy watching them because they are interesting. Somewhere may it be, genetics or while in my womb or shortly after Noah was born, Noah developed my love for judge shows. When he was a teeny tiny baby he loved to watch Cops I think it was the lights and the music. He no longer watches it though.
His favorite is Judge Judy. Judge Judy is awesome. We watch it every day it is on. He asks to watch Judge Judy on weekends or before or after it is on. He will say “Wanna watch Judge Judy?” It is really cute. I will tell him to put on his listening ears and he will do the Judge Judy listening ears hand movements. I like Judge Judy for her brassy attitude. I am sure she is probably a total sweetheart when she is off the bench as long as you don’t lie to her. He also likes to watch Judge Pirro. He knows all the judges by name.
He even knows who the judge on Street Court is. He says look it’s judge Mazz. I never watch Street Court it just doesn’t interest me. We both love People’s Court too. Noah really enjoys watching it too. I love how compassionate Judge Milian is. I love her no nonsense approach to ruling. I have said before that if I went on a court show it would be The People’s Court. I love the sayings she says. She seems like such a genuine person. When I went to Dolphin Mall in Miami, you can bet I was looking at every person’s face I saw. I would have been floored if I saw her but I regret to say I did not. I am such a huge fan of hers.
Something I have noticed is in watching massive amounts of court shows. They start out meaning well, then they seem to turn more to the trashy side of TV, I am sure it is for ratings or just the cases they get offered but it does make me somewhat sad. I am not saying they aren’t amazing people I just wish they tried cases that weren’t about sex or nudity or just trashy period. I wish all TV was like that though. I might be crazy for watching court shows with my son but we both enjoy it a lot. Noah doesn’t normally stay glued to the TV no matter what is on. He is busy playing and running around. I would just like them to be somewhat appropriate or family orientated. Usually Judge Judy and People’s Court are pretty good at being family friendly and even then they have their moments.
What court shows do you like to watch?
His favorite is Judge Judy. Judge Judy is awesome. We watch it every day it is on. He asks to watch Judge Judy on weekends or before or after it is on. He will say “Wanna watch Judge Judy?” It is really cute. I will tell him to put on his listening ears and he will do the Judge Judy listening ears hand movements. I like Judge Judy for her brassy attitude. I am sure she is probably a total sweetheart when she is off the bench as long as you don’t lie to her. He also likes to watch Judge Pirro. He knows all the judges by name.
He even knows who the judge on Street Court is. He says look it’s judge Mazz. I never watch Street Court it just doesn’t interest me. We both love People’s Court too. Noah really enjoys watching it too. I love how compassionate Judge Milian is. I love her no nonsense approach to ruling. I have said before that if I went on a court show it would be The People’s Court. I love the sayings she says. She seems like such a genuine person. When I went to Dolphin Mall in Miami, you can bet I was looking at every person’s face I saw. I would have been floored if I saw her but I regret to say I did not. I am such a huge fan of hers.
Something I have noticed is in watching massive amounts of court shows. They start out meaning well, then they seem to turn more to the trashy side of TV, I am sure it is for ratings or just the cases they get offered but it does make me somewhat sad. I am not saying they aren’t amazing people I just wish they tried cases that weren’t about sex or nudity or just trashy period. I wish all TV was like that though. I might be crazy for watching court shows with my son but we both enjoy it a lot. Noah doesn’t normally stay glued to the TV no matter what is on. He is busy playing and running around. I would just like them to be somewhat appropriate or family orientated. Usually Judge Judy and People’s Court are pretty good at being family friendly and even then they have their moments.
What court shows do you like to watch?
Sunday, September 12, 2010
I Smell Chocolate!
I am sure most parents are guilty of this. I know I am. What is the charge? Sneaking treats and candy behind your child’s back. It is not that you don’t want to share, well maybe sometimes you don’t but usually it is you don’t want your child to have anymore treats. You might hide in your bedroom, your closet, or maybe the car to enjoy a little treat without little hands and faces begging for some. I am somewhat of a pushover when it comes to treats. I don’t go overboard though. I feed my son very healthy foods but I am a firm believer that everyone needs a treat sometimes. Most of the time, I am eating something sweet around Noah I will share a little bit. Sharing is important after all. I don’t let him eat a lot of candy or treats. I make sure he has had a meal first or if it is the middle of the afternoon it is a small amount. I am teaching him about healthy eating because it is best for his growing little body and it is my job to make sure he gets the nutrients that he needs. Thankfully, for snacks he is happy with something healthy versus having a bowl of candy or chips.
When I was little, I loved treats and candy. That has not changed much. I don’t think I eat nearly as much as I used to. My cousins used to tease me about how I would buy pounds of candy but I would always share with them. My mom would used to have a little treat when I was little, she knew that as any child would I wanted some. Occasionally she would wait until I was upstairs or in another room. Her plan would fail because I would come running yelling I smell chocolate! It wouldn’t matter where I was in the house I would always smell it. We have always lived in nice sized houses too. I just had the scent for chocolate.
Do you have me time when it comes to treats? Do you have any good hiding places?
When I was little, I loved treats and candy. That has not changed much. I don’t think I eat nearly as much as I used to. My cousins used to tease me about how I would buy pounds of candy but I would always share with them. My mom would used to have a little treat when I was little, she knew that as any child would I wanted some. Occasionally she would wait until I was upstairs or in another room. Her plan would fail because I would come running yelling I smell chocolate! It wouldn’t matter where I was in the house I would always smell it. We have always lived in nice sized houses too. I just had the scent for chocolate.
Do you have me time when it comes to treats? Do you have any good hiding places?
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Appearance in Disney Movies
I wrote a post a while back about kindness. I have been thinking about kindness again so I went back and read my post I wrote. I said that I have a theory about appearance and I didn’t ever write the post. So, I thought I will now that it is on my mind.
I have noticed something in my 29 years of being on this earth that Disney movies are kind of messed up for a couple reasons. The first reason is appearance is a huge part of it. Let me explain. You have all the beautiful princesses and princes who are all beautiful and handsome. That teaches children that if you are different looking or not beautiful and maybe even plain looking you aren’t as good as someone who is beautiful. The villain is usually ugly, haggard in appearance or fat. That is kind of wrong in my eyes that almost always the villain is ugly and the hero or heroine is beautiful or handsome. It is kind of like well; if someone is different or scary looking they must be bad. I am aware that it is make believe but think about it. It kind of makes sense. It is playing on society’s obsession with outward image.
I know that this theory is flawed in two Disney movies. The first one is Beauty and the Beast. Gaston is an “attractive” man and the villain in the story and the beast is the hero. Ok, but he was put under a spell to teach him kindness and that beauty is found within, Of course he changes back in to a handsome prince. I get that they are teaching that beauty is found within but I don’t really see how they should have made him attractive at the end. Seriously what is wrong with being average or unattractive? Appearance is not the most important thing in the world it shouldn’t even be on the list of the top ten thousand important things.
The second Disney movie that flaws my theory is The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Quasimodo is not only unattractive but he is also disabled. It’s my favorite Disney movie because it teaches the way I think about others and how you have to look past the skin and see their soul. I would of liked for Quasi to get the girl but after all it is a Disney movie and an unattractive person with a beautiful person granted neither one is under a spell is unheard of. I am also aware that it is a book and that is not how the story goes at least they didn’t kill anyone good in that movie like in the book.
Just because someone is beautiful doesn’t make them good. Just because someone is unattractive does not make them bad. They have nothing to do with each other in the slightest. I just don’t understand why appearance is such a huge deal these days. I mean something could happen and someone is stripped of their appearance. I think that you can’t judge a book by its cover is a great proverb. I look for the beauty in everyone and everything, not outer beauty but what’s inside. That is all that really matters and should only matter. Everyone is different and if everyone walked around looking like Barbie and Ken then the world would be a confusing fake place.
Who is to say what is beautiful and who is ugly? Who makes that call? Is it you? Is it society? The answer is NO ONE. No one has the right to pick out the flaws of another person. If you have time to pick out someone’s flaws you have time to deal with them. I believe that you should love everyone for real reasons and look past others short comings just as you would want someone to look past yours. No one should judge anyone because no one is perfect and no one is better than anyone else that they even have a say.
I have noticed something in my 29 years of being on this earth that Disney movies are kind of messed up for a couple reasons. The first reason is appearance is a huge part of it. Let me explain. You have all the beautiful princesses and princes who are all beautiful and handsome. That teaches children that if you are different looking or not beautiful and maybe even plain looking you aren’t as good as someone who is beautiful. The villain is usually ugly, haggard in appearance or fat. That is kind of wrong in my eyes that almost always the villain is ugly and the hero or heroine is beautiful or handsome. It is kind of like well; if someone is different or scary looking they must be bad. I am aware that it is make believe but think about it. It kind of makes sense. It is playing on society’s obsession with outward image.
I know that this theory is flawed in two Disney movies. The first one is Beauty and the Beast. Gaston is an “attractive” man and the villain in the story and the beast is the hero. Ok, but he was put under a spell to teach him kindness and that beauty is found within, Of course he changes back in to a handsome prince. I get that they are teaching that beauty is found within but I don’t really see how they should have made him attractive at the end. Seriously what is wrong with being average or unattractive? Appearance is not the most important thing in the world it shouldn’t even be on the list of the top ten thousand important things.
The second Disney movie that flaws my theory is The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Quasimodo is not only unattractive but he is also disabled. It’s my favorite Disney movie because it teaches the way I think about others and how you have to look past the skin and see their soul. I would of liked for Quasi to get the girl but after all it is a Disney movie and an unattractive person with a beautiful person granted neither one is under a spell is unheard of. I am also aware that it is a book and that is not how the story goes at least they didn’t kill anyone good in that movie like in the book.
Just because someone is beautiful doesn’t make them good. Just because someone is unattractive does not make them bad. They have nothing to do with each other in the slightest. I just don’t understand why appearance is such a huge deal these days. I mean something could happen and someone is stripped of their appearance. I think that you can’t judge a book by its cover is a great proverb. I look for the beauty in everyone and everything, not outer beauty but what’s inside. That is all that really matters and should only matter. Everyone is different and if everyone walked around looking like Barbie and Ken then the world would be a confusing fake place.
Who is to say what is beautiful and who is ugly? Who makes that call? Is it you? Is it society? The answer is NO ONE. No one has the right to pick out the flaws of another person. If you have time to pick out someone’s flaws you have time to deal with them. I believe that you should love everyone for real reasons and look past others short comings just as you would want someone to look past yours. No one should judge anyone because no one is perfect and no one is better than anyone else that they even have a say.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
PostEgram Connects Families
We live in such a digital age, everything is done on a computer, we have email, Facebook and blogs. When was the last time you got a hand written letter from a loved one? It has been a while for me I know. I used to get handwritten letters from my grandma Rose. Not everyone is up to date with the digital times, which is fine. I remember the first time I showed my grandma the internet. She thought it was really neat. I am not sure it was something that she could of gotten in to. Some older people choose not to use the internet; it can be kind of confusing even to me. There is a great website called PostEgram. They will print out your Facebook statuses and photos or whatever you want as like a newsletter to send to your loved one and mail it to them through Snail Mail. We went from snail mail to email, well PostEgram made our email now snail mail. It is a pretty cool service.
I also think about how not everyone has a computer. It is somewhat of a luxury item or someone just might not want one in their home for whatever reason. Not everyone can afford the internet. Maybe they live in a rural area where they only get dial up that doesn’t seem worth it. There are many reasons why someone doesn’t have a computer or the internet. However, everyone has a mail box. Now with PostEgram you can sign up for your updates on Facebook either 4 times a month, twice a month or once a month. They also have subscriptions to help you save money.
When my aunt and uncle were visiting from California, I was talking about different things going on with my cousins and I mentioned that I am friends with them on Facebook. Now my aunt and uncle are electronic wizards, after all they had their own electronics store and are very computer smart but they are not on Facebook. They live in the mountains though and they are so busy doing other things on their home. I think it would be really cool for my cousins and I to send something like that to my aunt and uncle because they are so far away and that way they could stay in the loop so to speak.
I hope you all check out PostEgram for more information.
I also think about how not everyone has a computer. It is somewhat of a luxury item or someone just might not want one in their home for whatever reason. Not everyone can afford the internet. Maybe they live in a rural area where they only get dial up that doesn’t seem worth it. There are many reasons why someone doesn’t have a computer or the internet. However, everyone has a mail box. Now with PostEgram you can sign up for your updates on Facebook either 4 times a month, twice a month or once a month. They also have subscriptions to help you save money.
When my aunt and uncle were visiting from California, I was talking about different things going on with my cousins and I mentioned that I am friends with them on Facebook. Now my aunt and uncle are electronic wizards, after all they had their own electronics store and are very computer smart but they are not on Facebook. They live in the mountains though and they are so busy doing other things on their home. I think it would be really cool for my cousins and I to send something like that to my aunt and uncle because they are so far away and that way they could stay in the loop so to speak.
I hope you all check out PostEgram for more information.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Come Fly With Me........
When I went to Orlando, I got a brilliant idea. I thought I would take a small video of our flight. I didn’t want a video of the clouds although that would be kind of cool. Clouds are unpredictable however and I wasn’t sure I would be able to get a good video. I took this video as we were towards the end of our flight in to Orlando. The reason I took this video is because my friend Brandy does not like to fly. I thought it would be cool if she could fly with me in the safety of her own home. She has never flown before and I wanted her to see the beauty that I saw from the air. So, Brandy, friends Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away. If you can use some exotic booze, there's a bar in far Bombay. Come fly with me, let's fly, let's fly away.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Thar She Blows.....Chunks.......
Everyone has an embarrassing story. Embarrassing things happen to everyone. I thought I would tell you about my most embarrassing story that ever happened to me. In high school, in English class we went on a field trip to see The Miracle Worker. I went to a huge high school so there were a lot of people that went on the field trip with my class. I am pretty sure it was half of the English classes. I was fine when the play started; I am semi claustrophobic when I am around a bunch of people in a small space. Around intermission, I started feeling sick. I thought maybe it was because I was hungry so I bought a drink and a candy bar and ate it while we were waiting for the play to start again. All the sudden my head and stomach really started to hurt. I told my teacher and he told me to go talk to the nurse that came on the field trip with us. They brought a nurse in occasions like this one.
She knew me quite well out of the 4,000 or so students at my high school. I did have a habit of “being sick” during school. I liked school just not the classes. She didn’t believe me; she refused to call my mom. Seriously, if I was going to pretend to be sick I wouldn’t do it on a field trip. After all I was already out of classes for most the day. I kept telling her, I don’t feel good. I am sick. She had me lay down on a bench. I managed to make it through the play without getting sick. We had to ride the bus for 45 minutes to get back to school. As soon as the bus started moving for a while, I started vomiting. I vomited and vomited and then vomited some more all over the bus. I vomited on the nurse and another teacher. I vomited on people’s book bags that were on the ground. The bus stopped at the gas station so I could get a Kiwi Strawberry Snapple to drink to try and settle my stomach. I was also able to clean up a little bit. I am sure the bus garage hated me that day.
When we got back to the school, I went to the nurse and she called my mom. Everyone in my grade knew about the bus disaster by the end of the day. I was so embarrassed. People would ask me about it. I had it come up a couple times even after high school. I think it is funny now. You bet when the nurse saw me in her office and I said I don’t feel good she believed me.
What is your embarrassing story? Please share it with me.
She knew me quite well out of the 4,000 or so students at my high school. I did have a habit of “being sick” during school. I liked school just not the classes. She didn’t believe me; she refused to call my mom. Seriously, if I was going to pretend to be sick I wouldn’t do it on a field trip. After all I was already out of classes for most the day. I kept telling her, I don’t feel good. I am sick. She had me lay down on a bench. I managed to make it through the play without getting sick. We had to ride the bus for 45 minutes to get back to school. As soon as the bus started moving for a while, I started vomiting. I vomited and vomited and then vomited some more all over the bus. I vomited on the nurse and another teacher. I vomited on people’s book bags that were on the ground. The bus stopped at the gas station so I could get a Kiwi Strawberry Snapple to drink to try and settle my stomach. I was also able to clean up a little bit. I am sure the bus garage hated me that day.
When we got back to the school, I went to the nurse and she called my mom. Everyone in my grade knew about the bus disaster by the end of the day. I was so embarrassed. People would ask me about it. I had it come up a couple times even after high school. I think it is funny now. You bet when the nurse saw me in her office and I said I don’t feel good she believed me.
What is your embarrassing story? Please share it with me.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
I Feel Great and the Power of Positive Thinking
When I was in high school, my biology class went on a field trip. I am not still 100% sure the point of the field trip even now. I loved my biology teacher Mrs. Newman. She was an awesome teacher and I loved that class. We piled in a school bus and went to an educational building and started the workshop. I am sure you are thinking a biology field trip means looking at lab samples and learning under a microscope. This was not the case. I don’t remember the entire field trip but I do remember building things with gum drops and the speaker.
The speaker was a motivational speaker that taught us one phrase. “I feel great”. Those words mean a lot to me even now. He basically told us no matter how we are feeling when someone asks you are supposed to respond “I feel great.” If you tell others you feel great, it will make others feel good and if you keep telling yourself that you will start to feel great. It is the power of positive thinking. I will admit when I was a sophomore in high school I thought that it was kinda weird.
I mean we even got key chains shaped like a number 1 and that said I feel great as a reminder to feel great. Now being an adult I get it. You are how you feel. Only you can decide who you are and how you feel. If you feel good about yourself you will be more positive but if you are negative you will focus on negativity. It is pretty much common sense that I forget about on occasion. I am really hard on myself a lot of the time. I need to stop and remember I feel great because I am great. I know it is easier said than done but I need to try harder to feel great and through osmosis, others will feel great and I will too.
Do you have any tips or stories about positive thinking?
The speaker was a motivational speaker that taught us one phrase. “I feel great”. Those words mean a lot to me even now. He basically told us no matter how we are feeling when someone asks you are supposed to respond “I feel great.” If you tell others you feel great, it will make others feel good and if you keep telling yourself that you will start to feel great. It is the power of positive thinking. I will admit when I was a sophomore in high school I thought that it was kinda weird.
I mean we even got key chains shaped like a number 1 and that said I feel great as a reminder to feel great. Now being an adult I get it. You are how you feel. Only you can decide who you are and how you feel. If you feel good about yourself you will be more positive but if you are negative you will focus on negativity. It is pretty much common sense that I forget about on occasion. I am really hard on myself a lot of the time. I need to stop and remember I feel great because I am great. I know it is easier said than done but I need to try harder to feel great and through osmosis, others will feel great and I will too.
Do you have any tips or stories about positive thinking?
I'm Getting Contacts!
I have been wearing glasses since I was in 5th grade to see the board. I hated wearing glasses and didn’t wear them for about 5 years when I was in school. When I was an adult I decided it was important that I should wear them. I really had trouble watching TV and reading signs, so it was time I did something. I knew my vision wasn’t perfect. I wear glasses most of the time, I feel like I can’t really see without them. I can see just not far away too well. I recently decided that I want to get contact lenses. I have gorgeous eyes and my glasses hide them. I also think I look kind of weird in glasses. I am really excited about getting contacts although touching my eye is a little nerve racking for me. The eye doctor will make sure I know how to put them in and take them out a couple times before they send me on my way. I know quite a few people that wear contacts and have had them for years. It doesn’t look that hard to do. It might take some practice. Thankfully, I am not squeamish about touching my eye. I am looking forward to not having to wear glasses all the time. I am always afraid something will happen to my glasses. I also have an indentation on the bridge of my nose from them. I hate having the indentation on my nose because it looks weird. I occasionally fall asleep wearing my glasses which results in me laying on them or my glasses poking me. I think contacts would be the best solution.
Do you wear contacts? Do you have an Astigmatism? How long do yours last? I know there are daily ones, weekly ones. Any tips or tricks for me after I get them? I look forward to hearing your thoughts and suggestions!
Do you wear contacts? Do you have an Astigmatism? How long do yours last? I know there are daily ones, weekly ones. Any tips or tricks for me after I get them? I look forward to hearing your thoughts and suggestions!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Here is What Has to Happen
This is part of three of What Happened to Me and Here’s What Happened be sure to catch up if you haven’t already.
So, what am I like now? I am very shy and quiet. I overanalyze EVERYTHING. Just ask Brandy, I drive her crazy I am sure dissecting everything down to the etymology of the word, maybe not that far, but close. I hate being this way. I don’t really smile much. I do when I am with my son, since I am a stay at home mom you would think that would mean always. I want to smile for other reasons though, not just because my son is being goofy or cute. I want to be back to who I was, who I am. I want to really bad.
Now, I have to figure out what I need to do. I need to let go. I am great at forgiving someone but not so great at forgetting and really forgiving myself. I am not sure why that is really. I have always had an excellent memory and I remember almost everything. I guess it goes back to being too hard on myself. I guess. I am way too hard on myself. I don’t know why. I just am. I guess I need to let myself go a little. Let my hair down and quit being a worrywart. I need to loosen up some and understand that it is ok to mess up and not know what is going to happen, or what might happen if this happens that would probably not happen. Worrying is hard work. If I spent less time worrying about silly stuff life would be so much better.
I was thinking while I was checking on my roasted pork I am cooking, that I am scared to post these posts because what if people think I am crazy. What if they don’t like me anymore? I stopped myself and was like who cares. What if…. What if….. Martians floated down in bubbles and stole our grass. I can’t worry about everything. It really is getting hard and taking a toll on my life. I need to leave the worrying to others or just not worry as much as I do. I worry about my friends and family too constantly. I worry about every little thing I can.
I am compulsive worrier. I am worrying about worrying too much right now. I think I am going to try and remove the words what if from my vocabulary and stop thinking about something that may or may not happen and be confident that what happens is what is meant to happen especially about things I have absolutely no control over what so ever.
I also have quite a bit of fear about some silly things. I guess that fear and worry go hand and hand. Fear is the mind killer. I really believe that. Fear can consume you just like worry or rage. I need to not fear. I need to trust in God that everything will be fine and just forget about it. I also need to realize that I can’t fix all the wrongs in this world by myself. I love that quote and I often find myself trying to fix things.
I have recently been reminded in life there are no guarantees. The only guarantee is death, which is the only thing you can count on eventually happening. In relationships I just have to let things happen the way they are supposed to happen and not push people away and not worry. I need to learn to trust, I do trust people but at the same time I don’t trust that what someone is saying is what they really mean and not that they have some ulterior motive. I just realized I am ultimately setting myself up for failure. It has become a routine thing where I almost make it fail. If you think you won’t succeed you won’t. It is all about the mindset you have. I will not expect to fail anymore. I will succeed and if I do fail than well whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.
So, what am I like now? I am very shy and quiet. I overanalyze EVERYTHING. Just ask Brandy, I drive her crazy I am sure dissecting everything down to the etymology of the word, maybe not that far, but close. I hate being this way. I don’t really smile much. I do when I am with my son, since I am a stay at home mom you would think that would mean always. I want to smile for other reasons though, not just because my son is being goofy or cute. I want to be back to who I was, who I am. I want to really bad.
Now, I have to figure out what I need to do. I need to let go. I am great at forgiving someone but not so great at forgetting and really forgiving myself. I am not sure why that is really. I have always had an excellent memory and I remember almost everything. I guess it goes back to being too hard on myself. I guess. I am way too hard on myself. I don’t know why. I just am. I guess I need to let myself go a little. Let my hair down and quit being a worrywart. I need to loosen up some and understand that it is ok to mess up and not know what is going to happen, or what might happen if this happens that would probably not happen. Worrying is hard work. If I spent less time worrying about silly stuff life would be so much better.
I was thinking while I was checking on my roasted pork I am cooking, that I am scared to post these posts because what if people think I am crazy. What if they don’t like me anymore? I stopped myself and was like who cares. What if…. What if….. Martians floated down in bubbles and stole our grass. I can’t worry about everything. It really is getting hard and taking a toll on my life. I need to leave the worrying to others or just not worry as much as I do. I worry about my friends and family too constantly. I worry about every little thing I can.
I am compulsive worrier. I am worrying about worrying too much right now. I think I am going to try and remove the words what if from my vocabulary and stop thinking about something that may or may not happen and be confident that what happens is what is meant to happen especially about things I have absolutely no control over what so ever.
I also have quite a bit of fear about some silly things. I guess that fear and worry go hand and hand. Fear is the mind killer. I really believe that. Fear can consume you just like worry or rage. I need to not fear. I need to trust in God that everything will be fine and just forget about it. I also need to realize that I can’t fix all the wrongs in this world by myself. I love that quote and I often find myself trying to fix things.
I have recently been reminded in life there are no guarantees. The only guarantee is death, which is the only thing you can count on eventually happening. In relationships I just have to let things happen the way they are supposed to happen and not push people away and not worry. I need to learn to trust, I do trust people but at the same time I don’t trust that what someone is saying is what they really mean and not that they have some ulterior motive. I just realized I am ultimately setting myself up for failure. It has become a routine thing where I almost make it fail. If you think you won’t succeed you won’t. It is all about the mindset you have. I will not expect to fail anymore. I will succeed and if I do fail than well whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Here's What Happened
This is the continued post of What happened to me? If you haven’t check it out.
I guess it all started in high school. There was this guy named Matt. I can still see his face in my mind. Looking back it was like seriously, what was I thinking. Let me tell you about Matt. He was 18 and a bad boy. Of course he was attractive but he was bad guy like he had gotten kicked out of his parents house and was a nomad, his residence was under a bridge. I am not making that up. He was what you would call a hippi. I thought it was cool, but I was only 17 and very naïve and gutsy.
Well we started dated and I found out he was cheating on me. The nerve, the sadness. I was heartbroken. Now I am sure you are thinking that I wouldn’t possibly be broken over a guy from 12 years ago. That is where it all started. I mean I had my share of problems growing up of course, I just think this is where it all went downhill. I was still outgoing and gutsy. Maybe a little too gutsy if you ask me. Then you have my ex-husband which was just a real “gem”. I guess guys are part of my problems with really good reason. If you are told something over and over again you will start to believe it sooner or later. I was verbally and emotionally abused daily by my ex. My miscarriage left me dead inside. Then finding out my ex prayed for it killed me even more.
I have this complex that I call the “jerk” complex, it really doesn’t make real sense but it does to me. It is I guess a safety net. I am really trying to cut the strings of that net. It is silly. If I keep pushing people away of course they are gonna run for the hills. No one wants to be where they are unwanted. I know that all too well. I am getting better, I think. I mean I think I am. I am trying really hard not to push him away. It is weird. Maybe that I has something to do with the “choice” of men I have been attracted to. I find myself being attracted to jerks because they are jerks and if it is a guy who is not a jerk I have to be a jerk to make them a jerk. Yes you read that right. Clear as mud? I know it doesn’t make any sense. I guess it is a way to justify it if a relationship fails. The bottom line is I push people away. I know why I do it but it is personal way too much for my blog. Only a few people know why.
Another thing that broke me was when my grandma had Alzheimer’s Disease. I couldn’t deal with it. My grandma and I were so close and I didn’t really have any experience with it except when they would talk about it on a TV show. I tried to understand and I never really did. I missed my grandma when she was still alive. It was like her soul had gone up to heaven and her shell was still there. It was really hard. She remembered me most of the time but other times she was not my grandma. She was not her lovable self like a complete stranger. I don’t blame her because she had no control over it. It is definitely something that is hard for everyone involved. I never changed how I feel about her and love her with all my heart.
I had many toxic friends as well. I have removed all of them from my life. It is hard to remove toxic things from your life. I don’t know why all the toxic people were drawn to me. I am not toxic and I guess it is because my heart is really big and I forgive easily and love unconditionally. I had friends that would say really mean things to me and talk about me behind my back. One who even wrote a hateful letter to me and had a bunch of other people write mean things about me. What did I do? I forgave her. Even now I wish I wouldn’t of because that caused many more years of hurt and pain to me. She is gone now, which is a great thing.
Toxicity breeds Toxicity and it feeds off of you until you have nothing left, many toxic experiences and friends have broken me. Just like anything that is broken it can be fixed. I want to fix it. I am sick of feeling like this. It really sucks. You would think that all of these things would make me quit feeling, quit being so loving and sweet but they don't. My heart is too big and I just can't quit caring and turn totally bitter. It would be too much for me. I always say I am too sweet for my own good. My big heart is a blessing and a curse.
Stay tuned for part 3.
I guess it all started in high school. There was this guy named Matt. I can still see his face in my mind. Looking back it was like seriously, what was I thinking. Let me tell you about Matt. He was 18 and a bad boy. Of course he was attractive but he was bad guy like he had gotten kicked out of his parents house and was a nomad, his residence was under a bridge. I am not making that up. He was what you would call a hippi. I thought it was cool, but I was only 17 and very naïve and gutsy.
Well we started dated and I found out he was cheating on me. The nerve, the sadness. I was heartbroken. Now I am sure you are thinking that I wouldn’t possibly be broken over a guy from 12 years ago. That is where it all started. I mean I had my share of problems growing up of course, I just think this is where it all went downhill. I was still outgoing and gutsy. Maybe a little too gutsy if you ask me. Then you have my ex-husband which was just a real “gem”. I guess guys are part of my problems with really good reason. If you are told something over and over again you will start to believe it sooner or later. I was verbally and emotionally abused daily by my ex. My miscarriage left me dead inside. Then finding out my ex prayed for it killed me even more.
I have this complex that I call the “jerk” complex, it really doesn’t make real sense but it does to me. It is I guess a safety net. I am really trying to cut the strings of that net. It is silly. If I keep pushing people away of course they are gonna run for the hills. No one wants to be where they are unwanted. I know that all too well. I am getting better, I think. I mean I think I am. I am trying really hard not to push him away. It is weird. Maybe that I has something to do with the “choice” of men I have been attracted to. I find myself being attracted to jerks because they are jerks and if it is a guy who is not a jerk I have to be a jerk to make them a jerk. Yes you read that right. Clear as mud? I know it doesn’t make any sense. I guess it is a way to justify it if a relationship fails. The bottom line is I push people away. I know why I do it but it is personal way too much for my blog. Only a few people know why.
Another thing that broke me was when my grandma had Alzheimer’s Disease. I couldn’t deal with it. My grandma and I were so close and I didn’t really have any experience with it except when they would talk about it on a TV show. I tried to understand and I never really did. I missed my grandma when she was still alive. It was like her soul had gone up to heaven and her shell was still there. It was really hard. She remembered me most of the time but other times she was not my grandma. She was not her lovable self like a complete stranger. I don’t blame her because she had no control over it. It is definitely something that is hard for everyone involved. I never changed how I feel about her and love her with all my heart.
I had many toxic friends as well. I have removed all of them from my life. It is hard to remove toxic things from your life. I don’t know why all the toxic people were drawn to me. I am not toxic and I guess it is because my heart is really big and I forgive easily and love unconditionally. I had friends that would say really mean things to me and talk about me behind my back. One who even wrote a hateful letter to me and had a bunch of other people write mean things about me. What did I do? I forgave her. Even now I wish I wouldn’t of because that caused many more years of hurt and pain to me. She is gone now, which is a great thing.
Toxicity breeds Toxicity and it feeds off of you until you have nothing left, many toxic experiences and friends have broken me. Just like anything that is broken it can be fixed. I want to fix it. I am sick of feeling like this. It really sucks. You would think that all of these things would make me quit feeling, quit being so loving and sweet but they don't. My heart is too big and I just can't quit caring and turn totally bitter. It would be too much for me. I always say I am too sweet for my own good. My big heart is a blessing and a curse.
Stay tuned for part 3.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
What Happened to Me?
So, I have been thinking a lot lately about myself now vs. who I was when I was say a teenager. Man I have changed a lot. I mean I am still that really sweet person I have always been with a huge heart but I am in fact different. I am not convinced it really is for the better either. I mean of course I am older and wiser but I have been through a lot of stuff that has in fact changed me. I know that life is constantly changing but seriously I miss the person I used to be. I used to be extremely outgoing. I was gutsy, not sure that is something I would do now, as I am a mom. So there goes my dream of being a hobo. Yes I really wanted to be a hobo when I was young. Hey, they had an awesome life traveling the rails singing songs around a campfire. I would talk to everyone and I wouldn’t care who it was or what they thought. I am in fact the same person that would act like a complete random dork in public. I have this memory of being in Jr high and at the pool with my old childhood best friend talking about our pancreases and telling people they needed to go to charter. Don’t ask long story not even I think I can remember it all.
I really didn’t care what anyone thought of me. I mean I guess I did maybe a little but not enough to stop me from having the time of my life. I laughed until I cried and cried till I laughed. I remember there would be times that I was really upset and then someone said something and I would start laughing really hard. I was always smiling to the point where I thought my face was going to freeze like that like after Botox. I have and had a huge heart, I must of inherited that from my Grandma Rose, never seen a big heart than hers.
I was carefree and young. I have really changed if you are going to change, I believe in changing for the better or the greater good. I changed for the worst. I was talking to my friend Brandy and I realized one night that I am broken. I realized that from reading a journal I had where people wrote nice things about you and your strengths. I still have it and I was reading all the letter people wrote and I was like woah. I remember being like that. Then I started thinking what happened? Where did I go? They wrote things like you are always smiling and so outgoing and you have such a flair for drama. Oh yes I loved to act. I was never good at it though. I had bad stage fright but I loved to pretend. You will never see my name up there in lights.
Then, something happened. Lots of something I suppose. I broke. There are many reasons why I broke. When did I care if someone liked me? When did I start caring what people think? When did it matter to me? When did I stop smiling all the time? I mean yes I still smile. My son is the best reason to smile but I am not super smile woman anymore. I miss that.
To read more of this post there will be a part 2 posted soon.
I really didn’t care what anyone thought of me. I mean I guess I did maybe a little but not enough to stop me from having the time of my life. I laughed until I cried and cried till I laughed. I remember there would be times that I was really upset and then someone said something and I would start laughing really hard. I was always smiling to the point where I thought my face was going to freeze like that like after Botox. I have and had a huge heart, I must of inherited that from my Grandma Rose, never seen a big heart than hers.
I was carefree and young. I have really changed if you are going to change, I believe in changing for the better or the greater good. I changed for the worst. I was talking to my friend Brandy and I realized one night that I am broken. I realized that from reading a journal I had where people wrote nice things about you and your strengths. I still have it and I was reading all the letter people wrote and I was like woah. I remember being like that. Then I started thinking what happened? Where did I go? They wrote things like you are always smiling and so outgoing and you have such a flair for drama. Oh yes I loved to act. I was never good at it though. I had bad stage fright but I loved to pretend. You will never see my name up there in lights.
Then, something happened. Lots of something I suppose. I broke. There are many reasons why I broke. When did I care if someone liked me? When did I start caring what people think? When did it matter to me? When did I stop smiling all the time? I mean yes I still smile. My son is the best reason to smile but I am not super smile woman anymore. I miss that.
To read more of this post there will be a part 2 posted soon.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
If I Could Be Granted One Mom's Wish
If I had a fairy godmother that would grant me a mom’s wish this summer it would be that I wouldn’t have to worry about cleaning my house. I could spend all day outside with my son and maybe even go to the zoo and other kid friendly things with him. We wouldn’t have to worry about if the laundry is done or if I need to do some other kind of cleaning. I am a single mom after all. We could spend so many carefree days playing and creating lasting memories. I would have a janitorial cleaning service come in and scrub the floors, shampoo the carpets, clean the bathrooms, do all my laundry and even do the dishes. If you know me at all you know how much I love to cook but I hate doing the dishes afterward.
I know if I had a fairy godmother there who could grant this wish I would have a lot of stress lifted from my life this summer. Noah is going to be 4 soon and I cherish every moment. I would love to have some more time to laugh and tickle him and to just plain be silly. What would be your mommy wish if you had a fairy godmother?
I know if I had a fairy godmother there who could grant this wish I would have a lot of stress lifted from my life this summer. Noah is going to be 4 soon and I cherish every moment. I would love to have some more time to laugh and tickle him and to just plain be silly. What would be your mommy wish if you had a fairy godmother?
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