Women Driven to Success: You Can Have YOUR All

Everyone wants to be successful. The definition of success varies from person to person depending on their goals. A lot of people wonder how do I gain this success. Where can I learn to be successful? What tools do I need to make me successful? Truthfully as much as I hate to admit it, there is still a challenge for women to be as successful as men are. I don’t understand why that is. It kind of reminds me of the movie The Stepford Wives where all the women were all very successful high power career women and then they were turned in to robots. I guess not all men want to see a woman be successful. I think it is crazy that some men still think this way. I found a book called Women Driven to Success: You Can Have YOUR All. It is by Dr. Jane Goldner who is an amazing and inspiring woman.

 Here is more about the book:
 "The 'real life' stories and the practical toolkit make this book one that you will want to keep, refer to and recommend to your spheres of influence!" Women today are being told by successful businesswomen that the key to 'having it all' is leaning in. Dr. Jane Goldner, on the other hand, believes that success is not a one size fits all concept. She states that women can "have it all," but poses the question:  "What does 'it all' really mean?" Throughout the book, Dr. Goldner provides the answer that "it all" is different for each person, and discusses the paths women have taken to go from homemakers to "doing dishes, diapers, and million-dollar deals," with many choices in-between. A critical lesson is that before a woman "leans in," she needs to figure out "her all." Based on her own life experiences and those of 14 other highly successful senior-level professional women, Women Driven to Success provides examples of role models as well as a tool kit to help women define and live THEIR ALL. Among the many topics that Dr. Goldner covers in her book are: - The need for each woman to define her own CORE, her 'North Star' -Why being 'everything to everybody' is NOT the answer - Learning the skills of negotiation and confrontation - The important difference between taking personal time to stay healthy, and having to take time to be sick Dr. Goldner is a business consultant with nearly 30 years experience. She's worked with multiple Fortune 500 companies, the US Military and with some of the foremost executive leaders in the country. In addition, Dr. Goldner is both an adjunct professor at the Coles School of Business Kennesaw State University and in the Leadership and Organization Development Master's Degree program at PCOM. 

I personally can’t wait to read this and be inspired to become more successful. 

Women Driven to Success: You Can Have YOUR All is available on Amazon. To learn more about this book and to get your own copy, please visit Women Driven to Success: You Can Have YOUR All. 

It’s also available on your Kindle if you don’t want to wait to read it.

Please Don't Say Hurtful Things About Others

Noah was in gym class and two girls started fighting. Noah did the responsible thing and told the teacher. One of the girls, who are kindergarteners, was saying help help help. Noah told me later that he thought about stepping in but didn't. He decided to tell the teacher. I told him that he did the right thing. I told him he could have gotten hurt or in trouble too. I am proud of him for making the right choice. Another girl called him stupid. He was obviously upset about it still when he got home. I told him he isn't stupid, he is really smart, as he begged to do his double digit addition worksheet. I asked him if he thought he was stupid and he said no. I told him that sometimes people say things that aren't true and that girl doesn't really know him and that she was just being mean. I also asked him what he did when she said that and he said nothing. I told him that was best because he might have made her madder. I am so proud of him for making good choices. I am proud of him for doing the right thing by telling a teacher about the fight and for being able to know that if someone says something about you it's not always true. 

After our conversation, it got me thinking. I have been called some things and been accused of being a certain way but I know that I am not any of them. People have a way of twisting words and putting words in others mouths and until there is nothing true about what the original person said. It is like a bad game of telephone. I think that it is important to talk to your children about who they are and make sure you give them praise and let them know that sometimes they will be faced with someone who calls them stupid or fat or ugly and that none of it is true. Not a single word of it. When you believe in yourself and love yourself nothing anyone can say will define you. When you start thinking that way is when it is really a problem. As I have mentioned before, I was in an abusive marriage. I was told how fat and ugly and stupid I was every day that I believed it. If you hear something long enough and loud enough you will start to believe it even if it is just a lie. I know how hard it is not to care what others think. It really doesn't matter; if someone loves you then they love all of you. They look past your flaws because they don't see them. I think that flaws are things we all have, we are not perfect, but are things our enemies use to try and break us down.  If someone tried hard enough they could find something wrong with anything. I am perfectly imperfect, and I am perfectly fine with that. 

Connect 2 Happiness with GaiamTV in 2013

I want to share with you what happiness means to me. It means spending time with my family and friends. Even if I can’t physically be with them, just talking to them makes me happy. My happy place would probably be the beach on a hot day with my son watching him play in the sand or us in the water.  I haven’t always been the most positive person in the past but I am really trying to think happy thoughts. A good way to help me remember to be happy is to use tools to encourage myself to watch videos and learn from others. There is a service called GaiamTV that you can stream videos that encourage you on your path to happiness and health.  Gaiam TV is the first streaming video subscription service designed to reach those interested in health and happiness. With over 2,000 titles, Gaiam TV is like Netflix for the mind, body and spirit!

 Gaiam has started The Connect 2 Happiness Challenge. It is January and the start of a new year. You can make 2013 the best year by participating in the GaiamTV challenge. I watched the video Happy For No Reason and it taught me that I can be happy without having a reason I don’t have to have something happen to be happy. A lot of times we look to other things to make us happy, a raise at work, getting something new but really you can just be and be happy.  I think that I can find happiness in any situation and that it is my attitude that really controls my happiness and that I am control of it. I definitely feel that this will help enrich my life and I will start making sometime to practice what I learn. I will also share these exercises with friends and family. 

GaiamTV’s $9.95 per month subscription fee allows subscribers to stream unlimited content. The subscription to GaiamTV is no strings attached; there is no commitment, and members can cancel at anytime. GaiamTV offers a free 10-day trial. ­Gaiam TV’s entire library of thought provoking movies, top documentary films and fitness videos is available anytime, anywhere.  Streaming capabilities for Gaiam TV include personal computers, iPads and smartphones.

I would love for you to sign up for the GaiamTV Connect 2 Happiness Challenge and check out GaiamTV

This post is sponsored by GaiamTV. My thoughts and opinions are my own. 

Here is What Has to Happen

This is part of three of What Happened to Me and Here’s What Happened be sure to catch up if you haven’t already.

So, what am I like now? I am very shy and quiet. I overanalyze EVERYTHING. Just ask Brandy, I drive her crazy I am sure dissecting everything down to the etymology of the word, maybe not that far, but close. I hate being this way. I don’t really smile much. I do when I am with my son, since I am a stay at home mom you would think that would mean always. I want to smile for other reasons though, not just because my son is being goofy or cute. I want to be back to who I was, who I am. I want to really bad.

Now, I have to figure out what I need to do. I need to let go. I am great at forgiving someone but not so great at forgetting and really forgiving myself. I am not sure why that is really. I have always had an excellent memory and I remember almost everything. I guess it goes back to being too hard on myself. I guess. I am way too hard on myself. I don’t know why. I just am. I guess I need to let myself go a little. Let my hair down and quit being a worrywart. I need to loosen up some and understand that it is ok to mess up and not know what is going to happen, or what might happen if this happens that would probably not happen. Worrying is hard work. If I spent less time worrying about silly stuff life would be so much better.

I was thinking while I was checking on my roasted pork I am cooking, that I am scared to post these posts because what if people think I am crazy. What if they don’t like me anymore? I stopped myself and was like who cares. What if…. What if….. Martians floated down in bubbles and stole our grass. I can’t worry about everything. It really is getting hard and taking a toll on my life. I need to leave the worrying to others or just not worry as much as I do. I worry about my friends and family too constantly. I worry about every little thing I can.

I am compulsive worrier. I am worrying about worrying too much right now. I think I am going to try and remove the words what if from my vocabulary and stop thinking about something that may or may not happen and be confident that what happens is what is meant to happen especially about things I have absolutely no control over what so ever.

I also have quite a bit of fear about some silly things. I guess that fear and worry go hand and hand. Fear is the mind killer. I really believe that. Fear can consume you just like worry or rage. I need to not fear. I need to trust in God that everything will be fine and just forget about it. I also need to realize that I can’t fix all the wrongs in this world by myself. I love that quote and I often find myself trying to fix things.

I have recently been reminded in life there are no guarantees. The only guarantee is death, which is the only thing you can count on eventually happening. In relationships I just have to let things happen the way they are supposed to happen and not push people away and not worry. I need to learn to trust, I do trust people but at the same time I don’t trust that what someone is saying is what they really mean and not that they have some ulterior motive. I just realized I am ultimately setting myself up for failure. It has become a routine thing where I almost make it fail. If you think you won’t succeed you won’t. It is all about the mindset you have. I will not expect to fail anymore. I will succeed and if I do fail than well whatever doesn’t kill us makes us stronger.

Here's What Happened

This is the continued post of What happened to me? If you haven’t check it out.

I guess it all started in high school. There was this guy named Matt. I can still see his face in my mind. Looking back it was like seriously, what was I thinking. Let me tell you about Matt. He was 18 and a bad boy. Of course he was attractive but he was bad guy like he had gotten kicked out of his parents house and was a nomad, his residence was under a bridge. I am not making that up. He was what you would call a hippi. I thought it was cool, but I was only 17 and very naïve and gutsy.

Well we started dated and I found out he was cheating on me. The nerve, the sadness. I was heartbroken. Now I am sure you are thinking that I wouldn’t possibly be broken over a guy from 12 years ago. That is where it all started. I mean I had my share of problems growing up of course, I just think this is where it all went downhill. I was still outgoing and gutsy. Maybe a little too gutsy if you ask me. Then you have my ex-husband which was just a real “gem”. I guess guys are part of my problems with really good reason. If you are told something over and over again you will start to believe it sooner or later. I was verbally and emotionally abused daily by my ex. My miscarriage left me dead inside. Then finding out my ex prayed for it killed me even more.

I have this complex that I call the “jerk” complex, it really doesn’t make real sense but it does to me. It is I guess a safety net. I am really trying to cut the strings of that net. It is silly. If I keep pushing people away of course they are gonna run for the hills. No one wants to be where they are unwanted. I know that all too well. I am getting better, I think. I mean I think I am. I am trying really hard not to push him away. It is weird. Maybe that I has something to do with the “choice” of men I have been attracted to. I find myself being attracted to jerks because they are jerks and if it is a guy who is not a jerk I have to be a jerk to make them a jerk. Yes you read that right. Clear as mud? I know it doesn’t make any sense. I guess it is a way to justify it if a relationship fails. The bottom line is I push people away. I know why I do it but it is personal way too much for my blog. Only a few people know why.

Another thing that broke me was when my grandma had Alzheimer’s Disease. I couldn’t deal with it. My grandma and I were so close and I didn’t really have any experience with it except when they would talk about it on a TV show. I tried to understand and I never really did. I missed my grandma when she was still alive. It was like her soul had gone up to heaven and her shell was still there. It was really hard. She remembered me most of the time but other times she was not my grandma. She was not her lovable self like a complete stranger. I don’t blame her because she had no control over it. It is definitely something that is hard for everyone involved. I never changed how I feel about her and love her with all my heart.

I had many toxic friends as well. I have removed all of them from my life. It is hard to remove toxic things from your life. I don’t know why all the toxic people were drawn to me. I am not toxic and I guess it is because my heart is really big and I forgive easily and love unconditionally. I had friends that would say really mean things to me and talk about me behind my back. One who even wrote a hateful letter to me and had a bunch of other people write mean things about me. What did I do? I forgave her. Even now I wish I wouldn’t of because that caused many more years of hurt and pain to me. She is gone now, which is a great thing.

Toxicity breeds Toxicity and it feeds off of you until you have nothing left, many toxic experiences and friends have broken me. Just like anything that is broken it can be fixed. I want to fix it. I am sick of feeling like this. It really sucks. You would think that all of these things would make me quit feeling, quit being so loving and sweet but they don't. My heart is too big and I just can't quit caring and turn totally bitter. It would be too much for me. I always say I am too sweet for my own good. My big heart is a blessing and a curse.

Stay tuned for part 3.